It has been chapter 8

Hi beautiful sweethearts,

Have a read of this chapter, thank you for the comments and the likes!

CHAPTER 8

Arnav watched Khushi, running away from him, he didn't know she ran because she didn't want to show her weakness, or she regretted that she had confessed her love for him? In either way it was his loss, he considered.

Hadn't I ever guessed that why she was doing all this, beside fulfilling her promise made to Lavanya? he thought. No, he couldn't have. He never understood her helplessness, he didn't pay attention to what she was going through, what she felt, he wasn't aware her life was put in danger due to the same friend. More than he loved Lavanya, he was hating her for making his life stand where it was now.

His mind wasn't working. Whatever happened in the last two hours was unexpected. It had turned the clocks in the wrong directions. Khushi, had confessed her love for him. She indirectly chose him?! Didn't she?

"When I fell in love with you, I couldn't get to know, she had said to him as her head had leant against his chest. He was once again defeated.

Her words gave him an unusual relief. He felt...he didn't know if he felt good, but he didn't notice himself feeling bad either.

But behind all this there was a relief, he admitted. Unknown happiness of a some kind. To which he wasn't acquainted to yet.

He ran after Khushi. Today, the way situations changed he never thought it would happen so. He wanted to give one happiness to her, it all turned out to be uncleared mess.

As Arnav entered the room Khushi wasn't in the room, but he could hear shower running in the washroom.

"Khushi, what are you doing? Please come out, I want to talk to you!" he shouted.

Khushi had stood under the cold shower. All she wanted to feel was the coldness, shiver, to forget the pain of yesterday.

"Just go from here!" she shouted. "I don't want to talk to you!"

"Khushi, please do not give yourself this punishment, if you want you can punish me, you can do anything to take out the anger, the pain, but don't punish yourself by giving pain to yourself. Khushi, I didn't know circumstances will turn out to be like this!" he had to talk loud to make himself hear over the sound of the shower and the rain.

Khushi was crying in a low tone, but not this low that he wouldn't have heard if he made an effort to hear her sobs.

He knocked on the door. "Khushi, please. Khushi, I swear I will make everything alright. If I couldn't, I will give my life."

Hearing this Khushi looked at the closed door.

"Khushi, I swear, I will up my life if I failed to give you happiness. Khushi, give me one chance to prove myself. Please one chance all I ask for."

She tuned the shower off. Drenched in cold water she opened the door.

"Khushi, what is this?" he asked. He walked to get towel and he wrapped it around her shoulders, she was shivering.

He then went to the cupboard and pulled out her night suit and asked her to change her wet clothes. She refused to listen him.

"Khushi, go, and change now!" More than an anger in his tone there was a possessiveness, and a concern. "I don't want to listen to no, if I am saying go and change it means go and change!"

Her head swirled and she was going to loose her balance when she held the wall. Arnav held her by her shoulders too.

"Khushi, you will catch cold, just go, it's really cold and raining outside as well!"

She looked up to him slowly as she had her eyelids lowered first. Arnav's soul felt a jerk when he saw her red eyes.

"I want to be free!" she said.

"What did she mean by free?" his heart literally jumped to his throat.

"I am tired and I can't take it anymore!"

Arnav closed his eyes, he hated how helpless she had become and it was only because of him. This is not how he wanted her to be.

He stepped back, until he was standing outside the bathroom. Khushi closed the door and sunk on the floor crying.

One thing was clear to him that he didn't want to shut himself or would let Khushi to go away from his life.

She wanted to be free, this statement killed him.

Did he really wanted her to go away from him? No.

When Khushi's parents had put condition in front of her, one thing he knew if Khushi left him he would die there. He was afraid she would not choose him and when she had, he felt he got his life back. Somewhere down deep in his heart he did want Khushi.

He stood their until Khushi didn't come out of the bathroom. He had done enough mistakes not any more.

He was looking at her. Then he picked her up in his arms, she showed no emotion as she was expecting him to do something like this. He carefully made her sit on the bed, and pulled blanket up to her waist.

There was a long silence, wind howled, and the splattering of the rain, did nothing to broke the deadening silence that prevailed in between them.

For heaven he didn't know what this night will bring for them.

"I have really ruined everything, right?! I know you are mad at me..."he said finally, slowly as he played with his hands.

"You shouldn't have done this!" she said.

"My intensions weren't wrong. I know your parents are mad at me, but with time and appeals they will understand it. I will go again to them..."

"You won't do anything like this." She was angry. "They are my parents, I will convince them if I want to."

"Khushi, they are my in-laws too!" he said. "And this all had happened all because of me!"

"Then you are their son-in-law, they shouldn't forget this, they have no right to talk to you like this."

Arnav was once again carried away with her words, was she talking on his side? He was just too confused to give attention to it.

"What were you trying to do when you were begging in front of them? Do you have any self-respect or not? I am not mad at you because you brought them here I am mad at them because they said whatever came into their about my family. You didn't do any wrong by bringing them. But they did wrong as in the past one year they didn't even bother themselves to enquire how I was doing? And they say love me. I know they do, but they don't trust me. They didn't care when I begged them and today too they were adamant, did you ask me before you did this? Mr. Raizada, you don't have to do anything for me.

"And whatever I said to them was according to their conditions. And if you say I am regretting it, no, I don't regret!"

He was bewildered. He was so ashamed to look into her eyes. He sat down on his knees. He held her hand in his, "Khushi, please give me one chance."

"You don't have to sympathize with me, just out of guilt! I don't want to be a burden on you!"

"For god sake stop saying these things, Khushi, please. You are not a burden on me. You have never been. Until now only I thought that you just simply married to me. But you came here for me, despite of me always hurting you with my words and with my drinking habits, you said you love me. Khushi, I am not doing this out of guilt. I swear on myself I am not. These past four days have changed me. The night you decided to tell me everything that really affected me, then I thought I don't deserve you if in case I will hurt you it will be easier for you to leave me. You should get someone better, I thought. But it killed me, then seeing you in a terrible condition, Khushi, I can't tell you how did I feel. I realized that if anything happened to you I won't be able to live. There would have been a guilt then. I didn't want to loose you, Khushi. And when doctor came and told me that you were out of danger, I could breathe, Khushi, if I can pay for my deeds with my life I would have done so..."

"Please, Arnav ji, stop mentioning death. Why don't you understand that it hurts me?" she shouted. "This is the third time you are mentioning it, and you are kept on saying the same thing again and again. Why are you hurting me actually and purposefully?"

He was shaking his head and a smile was tugged on the side of his lips. "I won't mention it, Khushi. I am sorry!" he said and hugged her.

"I am sorry, Khushi! Give me any punishment I will happily accept it."

Khushi choked on her sobs. "I love you, Arnav ji, I don't regret saying this. But you have only hurt me! With your words, with your actions!" she said at the same time she tried to pull him back. But Arnav refused to let go off her.

He was relieved, it was an understatement. Now she had said what was in her mind she was free. She had to tell him, because by not doing so she didn't want to insult her love for him. Because there was no boundaries between them except for the fact they never gave their marriage a proper name.

***
"Khushi, please don't ever leave me!" he said. "I don't want to loose you, these past four days have made me realized what I have missed in my life and what I had lost if you had chosen your parents over me."

"I didn't choose you over my parents! I chose my family!" she said.
Arnav pulled back from the hug as all of sudden there was a different talk between them.

"Will you give me if I ask you for something?" she asked.

Arnav was quite.

She had hopeful look in her eyes. When he didn't say anything, she went on and said, "I want divorce from you!"

Arnav felt someone has punched him hard in his stomach and has pulled heart from his body.

He felt blood in his veins, stop.

"I want to be free of this unwanted relationship...I have forgiven you, but I don't want to be with you."

Whatever she said echoed in his ear that burst his eardrums.

"Would you be able to do so, Arnav ji?"

"Khushi, I beg off you. Please don't do this. Don't push me to the edge, where if I moved in any direction I will die. Khushi, all I am asking is for a one chance."

"I am giving you one chance!" she said. "Leave me!"

"Khushi...?"

"Would you be able to do so?" she repeated again.

"Khushi, please, don't do this."

"You said you can do anything for me, I do love you, but I don't want to be with you!" she said confidently as she had made her mind that she was done with him.

"Who I am to separate you from your this family then?" he said.

"I know all I have given is you pain, Khushi. You don't have to leave from this house. I will!" His voice was shaky.

He flicked his eyes to unclog the vision that was unclear due to the tears. Tried to bring smile on his face as he spoke.

"Its really too late, isn't?" he asked with a smile on his face. "If possible, do forgive me. If possible, do ask your parents, to accept you, I am sure once they know that I have freed you, they will accept you. If possible..." Words weren't coming to him easily. He stopped, he gulped his sobs down. "If possible, do find a man who love you, and will respect you, Khushi. This time choose it wisely, Khushi. And let me tell you really changed me! I wish you hadn't taken a promise, I wish you had left me to die. I am sorry I am repeating this again...but yes, it is going to be hard. Since, you want this I will give it to you," he said.

"For the last time, can I hug you?"

Khushi welcomed it with all her heart. Arnav didn't wait and hugged her. It was the last hug of his life, a very close time he will be looking at her.

He lost her!

Arnav screamed, "no," as he woke up from his bad dream. As he opened his yes he found Khushi in front of himself.

His heart that had jumped in his throat finally made it's way to his chest.

He took a sigh of relief. But he wasn't able to control his rigorous beating heart. What he was thinking? When did he go to sleep? What part of the conversation was the truth and which one was his actual dream?"

"Arnav ji?" Khushi's sleep was broke when he heard his sudden scream. She called him in a worry as she saw him drenched in sweat.

"What happened, Arnav ji?" she again asked as Arnav looked at her in teary eyes. He got up the floor and hugged Khushi.

"Khushi..." he said nothing afte her name. Khushi, had no idea what he has happened to him.

"Arnav ji, did you see a bad dream?" she asked worried.

"A very bad dream, Khushi, please punish me for everything. But please don't ask me to go away from you," he muttered.

"Arnav ji, it was just your bad dream!" she assured him.

"When did I sleep?" he asked confused.

"You made me laid on the bed last night as soon as that happened I was sleeping, later I don't know..." she said. "...how did you end up sleeping on the floor?"

"Khushi, please forgive me...I didn't know that bringing your parents here will create more problems!"

"Arnav ji, gather yourself!" she said.

As much Arnav was relieved that it was just his dream, more dread he was to think what if it was for sure?! What if Khushi really wanted to be free from him by giving him a divorce?

"No, this can't happen," he muttered.

"What? What can't happen, Arnav ji?!"

He was once again hugging her. It must be a really bad dream, she thought.

He was angry at himself, how could he even say in his dream that he was ready to give her what she wanted. Divorce? No, not at all. She was his wife, and he didn't want to go away from her.

"Arnav ji, you want water?"

As he realized that he was literally on top of her. He slowly loosened his clutch on her and moved back.

Khushi saw tears in his eyes. "What was wrong?" she thought.

"Arnav ji?" she held his hand that was warm against her hold. "Arnav ji, do you have fever?"

"Huh? No, I am fine!"

"Arnav ji, just show me!"

"I am fine, Khushi. Don't worry about it. Get ready, you have to go for a check up!" he said, he was still in hysteria.

She got up the bed and started making up the bed. She watched him
closely. Something fell from the cupboard as he pulled towel in a hurry, he didn't pay attention to it and marched in a hurry to the washroom.

It was a gift box. Blue in colour. Her name written on it, caught her attention.

She walked to it and bend to pick it up. Along with it there was an attached note.

To Khushi,

I don't know what to say, where to start, Khushi. But I guess I have to start from somewhere.

The day you have come to my life, all I have given you is pain and only pain. But...Today, I want to say is I really want to give our marriage a chance. This is not out of guilt, I really want to do so. I hope you think I am capable of it.

I have realized is without you I will be incomplete. It just take a single second for god to turn this whole world upside down. And by the way, I am still a human.

Khushi, you can test me anytime. I will prove that I am not just making promises in the air.

Today, is our first year of marriage.

Can we start fresh?!

I know you are hurt and I won't pressurize you, decision is all your, Khushi.

For today's function I want you to wear this dress. If you want to give me a chance, wear this dress. I will be waiting for it, Khushi.

Arnav...

Khushi set the note aside and opened the gift wrap and then the box to reveal the dress.

Today, it had been complete one year of their marriage! Really?! She always wanted to celebrate this day, she didn't know, today she will not even give it a thought.

Because today, she was going to tell him to give him divorce. Arnav must have imagined his early morning dream was going to come true.

"Bless you!" she muttered, when Arnav sneezed three times in a row.

She thought of going to the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee.

***
Arnav came out of the shower, his head hurt, and he was unable to stand properly. He managed to walk to the cupboard and fetch glucose meter to check his sugar. He had to force his eyes open to read the reading of his blood sugar. It was low.

Somehow he managed to walk to the bed to lay. His eyes were shutting. But he hadn't afford to sleep. He had to take Khushi for her checkup. In this condition, he doubted if he will be able to accompany her.

He sat properly when he heard footsteps. He was expecting Khushi, but it was Anjali.

"Good morning, di!" he wished as he composed himself.

Anjali didn't wish him back and kept coffee on the table. She was going to leave when Arnav stopped her.

"Di, can you please take Khushi to the hospital for her checkup...I...think I won't be able to go..."

"Nobody is expecting you to go. And don't worry, her family is their to worry about her."

"No, di, it's not like that..." he said.
Before he could say anything else, Anjali was gone. He let out a sigh of defeat.

He took tablet from his medicine box and ate it. He had whole day in front of himself, lot many preparations were left to do for the party. He wasn't even sure if after yesterday night, Khushi will be in mood to celebrate their anniversary. He had to least try.
He just wished his health didn't come in between him and his plans.

***
"Good morning, bhai!" Arnav said to Akaash.
"Everyone, see you in the evening."
"Akaash, please come home early!" Payal said as she too got up the dinning table.
As far as Arnav knew they all did their breakfast at 9:30 am. And now they were all getting up when it was 9:15 am.
"HP, clear the table!" Nani said. When Arnav had not even sat to eat.
"Khushi ji, let's go for your check up!" Anjali said.
"Di, I will be back. Just have to get my purse and the reports."
"Sure, I am waiting here!"
"Di, thank you," Arnav said.
"Nani, Mami ji, Payal, come with me, I will drop you three at the mall!"

Arnav guessed that everyone were mad at him as they refused to talk to him. He got up the table without eating as HP cleared the table.

He ignored his stomach churning due to hunger. He decided to go to room to talk to Khushi. He had just made his way up one ladder up, when he saw Khushi was already coming downstairs.

Khushi knew he was looking at her, but she simply watched where she was going and ignored him. He was going to say something when Anjali asked her to hurry.

"Khushi ji, please come fast, you are getting late for your check up!"

"Anjali, bitiya, do call the people to take off all this decoration!"

This irked Arnav.

"Why? This decoration is for mine and Khushi's anniversary party!" he said.

"I am pretty sure, Anniversary parties are celebrated among loving couples, not when husband doesn't care about the marriage and his wife. Especially, when they soon will be divorced!" Anjali said to Arnav but looking at Mami ji. "Please, ladies, let's go! We all are getting late!"

"Divorce?" he only able to say, before he could protest all the ladies were gone.

His whole house was empty. He saw he was the one standing alone today.

Wasn't he always alone?! By the way, he thought. Yesterday, they said they were with him to bring Khushi close to him, and today, it seemed like they didn't even care.

His body gave up on him. Not an ounce of energy he was left with, so that he could even make his way to the room. He was going to fall, when HP came running to help him.

"Arnav, bhaiya, aap theek ho?" he asked.

Arnav patted his shoulder and nodded. "I am fine, HP."

"Bhaiya, you don't look fine. Let me call the doctor and the family!"

"You will not do anything like this," he tried to sound angry, but he couldn't. "If you really want to help me, just drop me to my room."

"Okay, bhaiya!" he said and helped him to get to his room.

***
"Arnav!" he heard her say. Arnav immediately opened his eyes.
"Lavanya!" his tone was overjoyed.
"Yes, it's me!" she said.
"Lavanya, you back?"
"When did I leave you, Arnav?" she asked lovingly.
Arnav fluttered his eyes to clear his vision that was clogged by tears.
Lavanya walked to him and he sat up to see her.
"Where did you go, Lavanya?" he asked. "Why did you leave me like this?"
"It's just because I had to. My time was near, Arnav, and it was just meant to happen!"
"Do you even know how alone I feel? How could you leave me standing at that phase of life where I can't even go back and it forward."
"Arnav, it has been really hard for me to leave. However, I have left Khushi for you."
"I have pushed her away," he said as he cried. "I hurt her so much that she doesn't even like to talk to me!" he said.
"She is hurt, Arnav. But she has a big heart if you will try, she will come back to you!"
"Lavanya, can't you come back to make everything alright once again?" he asked in pain.
"I wish I could do that, but nature wanted it to be this way. But I will come back, Arnav. May be in the form of your child!"
Arnav laughed in between his cries.
"You gotta be kidding me!" he said.
"No, I am not!" he said. "But now I have to leave!"
"Please, Lavanya don't leave. Please stay!"
"Arnav, please take care of yourself. Do not punish yourself like this. Do not make me regret more. I have separated myself from you, but you do not let Khushi get away from yourself!"
"She doesn't deserve me!" he said.
"She deserves you, Arnav. She loves you, she needs you. Promise you won't ever leave her!"
"I promise," he said. But then realized the gravity of his words. He won't break his promise, but Khushi hates him. She won't even allow him get close to her. As he looked up, Lavanya was gone.
"Lavanya!" he shouted seeing her not in front of him. Like a mad man he looked everywhere in the room.

Once he realized it was just his imagination, Lavanya was long gone from his life, never to come back, he let his sufferings flow in the form of his tears, and the pain that his heart felt.

His back once again hit the mattress. On one side it was Khushi's words, that she wanted to be free, and on the other hand it was Lavanya's words that don't let go off her, and on the third end his own fears and his own wishes, of not letting go off Khushi. He wanted to make everything right in between them.

His mind was going crazy, first it was simple to get away from the pain by drinking, but now when his body threat him to shut down, on the other hand their was a need to keep up his promises, there was nothing much he could have done.

He just simply closed his eyes and in few seconds every activity of havoc inside his mind was shut down and he had no idea where he was.

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