Prologue
Today it has been 2 months, since Arnav had left his family.
In the media speculations were high that he and Khushi were divorced as no one had seen both of them together for the past two months in Mumbai. And not even in India anywhere. Akaash and Mama ji had been making public appearances. Even in the family functions there was no sign of Arnav.
Also, Khushi's family had accepted her and they were happy with her decision they had looked for a guy, whom they wanted her to marry to.
And just day ago they made a public announcement. The news ended every speculations and spread like a wild fire.
"Today, it has been confirmed by ex-Mrs. Raizada's father that his daughter, Khushi has divorced her husband, Arnav Singh Raizada and will soon be tying knot with the rich businessman, Aditiya Malhotra.
It is believed that her parents were never happy with her and Mr. Arnav Singh Raizada's marriage. Also, after the death of Lavanaya Singh Raizada, Mr. Arnav Singh Raizada never accepted her as his wife.
Well, we agree with Mr. Gupta, who really would accept a drunken man anyways?" TV reporter said.
Breaking news: Arnav Singh Raizada and Khushi Singh Raizada split up.
Aman shut off the TV in frustration.
"Sir, this stupid media say garbage, without knowing anything!" he said.
"What wrong they are saying anyways?" he asked back. "So, Khushi, is going to get married?" he asked, pain still so fresh in his mind and soul and so evident in his tone.
"Sir, it's nothing. You cannot believe these people."
"What about, Mr. Gupta's statement?" he questioned. "Aman, as soon as I and you accept it, better it will be. We are divorced!" he told him.
Aman took a deep breath.
"Sir, doesn't it matter to you that Khushi mam is going to get married?" he asked.
"Aman, it does matter. I am happy that she will be starting a new life with a good person. Aditiya Malhotra is a great man. I know him!"
"Sir, we have to go for your checkup!" Aman said instead as he knew there was no point talking to his boss now, it was the right time to tell his family.
"I am fine, Aman. Good thing is I am still alive!"
"Sir, how long you will punish yourself?" Aman asked.
"As long as, I can bare it, anyways, we shouldn't be focusing on this at all. We have cracked the deal and we have to start working on our new project as soon as possible! And also, the hotel project is almost finished."
Aman looked at him. He was mad. "Sir, for a month you had been in the hospital, fighting for your life, why are you doing this to yourself?"
"Aman, let's get back to work!" he said flatly, as he ignored to talk about anything related to his past that keep no importance to anyone and it should not to him either he told himself.
"No, sir!" he said. "You are going for your routine check up to the hospital!"
"Aman, my doctor will come to the office don't worry. Now sit down and let's just not argue more on this!"
He saw Aman leaving the room in anger, saying he would call his doctor.
Arnav put the pen down and his back leant against his black leather chair. He rested his head back on the head rest.
As pain again engulfed his heart that never left his mind and soul in the past two months. Only he knew how much it mattered to him that Khushi was going to get married. He had every news of his family, but they knew nothing about him, where he was, what he has been doing till now. Better it was for them, he thought. They did not need him.
He got up his chair, "Does it matter what I feel about, Khushi?" he asked himself. "Every time I thought it was the end, I will be taking a last breath, I was saved. It is my punishment, I guess," he said as he looked at the night sky from his Italy office.
The only place on earth he knew nobody would know about him and his family would never be able to get here. Well he had no expectations they will be looking for him.
His health had depleted, right from the airport he was taken to the hospital. For a month he was in a coma, due to the hypoglycaemia.
His pancreas were damaged and it needed to be removed as soon as possible, luckily he had got a donor, and it matched with his blood group. He was saved. Now, again he is doing everything, but taking care of himself. If it was not Aman, he would have long killed himself.
After all, without his family and Khushi his life was empty, now Khushi will be married there will be no scope in the present or the future thdy were ever able to come back. He wondered why he was still alive?
***
"Mr. Aman, is there no one to look after Mr. Arnav?" Doctor asked.
Aman was quite. "I am asking this because he needs it. Luckily he has been improving, he has shown lot of improvement but sometimes his sugar levels fluctuates so badly, and anti-depressants that he had been taking lately, going to make his health worst."
Aman still hadn't said anything.
"Mr. Raizada," doctor said as he showed up at his cabin door.
Arnav wiped tears from his eyes and looked back.
"You do his check up, I shall be back!" Aman said and excused himself.
"Good evening, Dr. Williams!" he said cheerfully.
"Mr. Raizada, how have you been?"
***
"Hello!" Aman heard her say.
There was a long silence. Khushi thought it was Arnav.
"Arnav ji?" she said, as her heart sunk, but elevated with a thought it was him. "Arnav ji, is that you?" she asked hopefully, she had tears in her eyes.
"Aman...It's Aman!" he said.
"Aman!" Khushi was equally happy to know at least she would know where Arnav was.
"You must be really happy right?" he said angrily.
"Aman?" she said questioningly.
"Yes, after all, you are finally moving on in your life, now Arnav sir lives or die what it has to do with you? By pushing him more towards hell, you would be really happy afterall, this is what all you wanted!" Khushi was confused at the same time afraid thinking about Arnav.
"What has happened to, Arnav ji?" she asked.
"Right now he is alive, if you had asked this one month ago, he was almost dead!"
Khushi held the phone receiver tightly in her hand. "What are you saying, Aman?" she said in barely inaudible, fearful tone.
"Just want to say, Mam, that you truly have killed Arnav sir. You and your family, forced him to leave him alone to die!" Aman said.
"Aman, please tell me how is Arnav ji?"
"As I said, still alive!" he said and kept the phone.
By the time he hung up on her, he was crying. But Khushi? She couldn't breathe.
"Khushi, bitiya, let's go for a checkup!" Khushi's mom said from behind.
"Ma, I need to go back to RM!"
"Yes, we will go, but first check up!"
Khushi's mom didn't hear her once.
No matter how hard she tried. She was trembling in fear.
She and his whole family had been trying hard to find where Arnav was, but no one had found him. Today, Aman who had left AR Groups, and went to join Arnav's new company had all of sudden called, by telling about Arnav, had made her scared to death.
"Ma, can we go to RM?!"
"There is no way to argue over this!" Mrs. Gupta said and ignored her, and started talking to the marriage organizers for Khushi's marriage on her phone.
||At the hospital||
"Mrs. Khushi Arnav Singh Raizada!" Khushi said.
"Excuse me, it's Khushi Kumari Gupta and soon would be Khusi Aditiya Malhotra!" Mrs. Gupta said as she took time off her phone to talk to the receptionist to correct her.
"Sorry, mam, it's Khushi Arnav Singh Raizada!" Nurse repeated.
"Whatever!" Mrs. Gupta said. "Khushi, get your check up done. Call me in if you need me, and make sure you tell the doctor that you want to abort this bloody child!" she said and left.
Khushi tried not to loose her cool.
Someone called her from behind. "What did you just say, who you are?" A white, well dressed man asked in a thick Italian accent.
"Khushi Arnav..."
"Are you Arnav Singh Raizada's wife?" he asked.
"Yes, I am!" Khushi said surprised.
"Oh, wow. How is Mr. Arnav Raizada doing?"
"What...what happened to him?" she asked, her heart beating furiously again. "Do you know him?"
"Mrs. Raizada, you don't know, he was in a coma for a month!"
"Coma, what? Do you know where is he? Is he fine?" she asked.
"Mrs. Raizada, come I tell you everything. Come to my office!"
Khushi was so terrified that she thought she might collapse if she wasn't told, where and how Arnav was immediately. She followed the man. He opened the door of his office and let Khushi get in first.
"Mrs. Raizada, please have a seat."
"Can you tell me where my husband is?" she asked.
"Mrs. Raizada, relax. Please have a seat. I am doctor, Oliver Anderson. I had done your husband's surgery. His pancreas had been damaged and he went into coma due to serious decline in the sugar levels."
Khushi glared at the doctor absentmindedly, as she was in a state of complete shock.
"And where is he?" she asked, her voice plain.
"Luckily he is doing fine now, and he is a businessman isn't? Currently in Italy!"
Khushi didn't hear anything else and rushed to RM.
Mrs. Gupta saw her making her way out of the hospital. She ran after her, but Khushi was far ahead. She sat in the car and her driver had already made it's way towards RM.
***
"Anjali di, Payal bhabi, Mami, Nani ji!" Khushi yelled.
Each of the ladies came running.
"Khushi, what happened?" Akaash asked as he too had come.
"Arnav ji..." she said as she was huffing.
"Chote? What happened to him? Where is he?" Anjali asked.
"Khushi, bitiya come first and sit!" Nani said as she saw her condition.
"HP, bring a glass of water!"
Payal made her sit on the sofa. "Khushi, relax down first!"
Khushi clenched her hand in her hair and wailed.
"Khushi, bitiya, what has happened? Did you hear anything about, chote?" Mami ji asked.
"Khushi, why aren't you saying anything? You are making us all worry!"
"Why you all are?" HP asked.
Everyone looked at him.
"You all should be happy he has left all of you. Now whether he dies or lives, why do you care?" he questioned.
Akaash was angry, he went to him and held him by his collar. A tray of glass of water fell.
"Bhaiya ji, showing anger wouldn't work!" HP said.
"Akaash, leave him!" Payal said.
"For four days Arnav bhaiya was sick, none of you saw it, none of you, Khushi bhabi, you said you love him? You didn't care."
"What the heck you are saying?" Akaash said.
"Akaash, bhaiya let him say!" Khushi said as she got up the sofa.
"You know anything about him, HP?" Khushi asked.
"Yes, I know everything bhabi. You all ignored him. He was sick, you all excused him of being drunk, in reality he was sick. He had called the doctor himself, doctor had warned he would kill himself, he didn't care about his health, all he wanted was your forgiveness. He was trying his best, he hid all his worries, his ill health from you all, but you all taunted him. Didn't let him eat his food. He had left alcohol, but none of you cared. I am sorry I have no right to say this. But it was needed. You all were worried after he left? But didn't care what he was going though when he was in front of you, on a Diwali day, he was admitted to the hospital whole day. He didn't even let you know about it. Because he knew none of you will care!"
"HP, why didn't you tell us?" Khushi asked. "Why had you been quite?"
"Because none of you deserve him, and the day he had left!"
***Flashback***
"HP, you promise me that you won't tell anything where I am going, or anything about my health."
"Bhaiya, please don't go. You are ill. You need doctor!"
"HP, just shut up. And you swear on me you will stay shut up!"
"I will!" he had said.
***End of flashback***
Khushi fell on the floor. Nani had almost collapsed.
"Sasu ma!" Mama ji said and held her.
Payal and Anjali held Khushi. "Arnav ji, is in Italy, there was a doctor who I met at the hospital, told me, Arnav ji had been in coma for a month. He...I want to go to see him. Please Akaash bhaiya help me book the ticket! I have to take the earliest flights."
"Khushi, I can book you our private yet. We all will go in fact!" Akaash said but he still hadn't come out of trance.
"No, only Khushi bitiya would go for now!" Nani said.
"Khushi ji, please tell us how my brother is? As soon as you sought everything, we will be there, we all have to make up for so many mistake!" she added and cried.
After hearing about his health from Khushi and HP, every single member was shocked, and were regretting how blind and fool they were that they did not see what their Arnav was going through.
Today it has been 2 months, since Arnav had left his family.
In the media speculations were high that he and Khushi were divorced as no one had seen both of them together for the past two months in Mumbai. And not even in India anywhere. Akaash and Mama ji had been making public appearances. Even in the family functions there was no sign of Arnav.
Also, Khushi's family had accepted her and they were happy with her decision they had looked for a guy, whom they wanted her to marry to.
And just day ago they made a public announcement. The news ended every speculations and spread like a wild fire.
"Today, it has been confirmed by ex-Mrs. Raizada's father that his daughter, Khushi has divorced her husband, Arnav Singh Raizada and will soon be tying knot with the rich businessman, Aditiya Malhotra.
It is believed that her parents were never happy with her and Mr. Arnav Singh Raizada's marriage. Also, after the death of Lavanaya Singh Raizada, Mr. Arnav Singh Raizada never accepted her as his wife.
Well, we agree with Mr. Gupta, who really would accept a drunken man anyways?" TV reporter said.
Breaking news: Arnav Singh Raizada and Khushi Singh Raizada split up.
Aman shut off the TV in frustration.
"Sir, this stupid media say garbage, without knowing anything!" he said.
"What wrong they are saying anyways?" he asked back. "So, Khushi, is going to get married?" he asked, pain still so fresh in his mind and soul and so evident in his tone.
"Sir, it's nothing. You cannot believe these people."
"What about, Mr. Gupta's statement?" he questioned. "Aman, as soon as I and you accept it, better it will be. We are divorced!" he told him.
Aman took a deep breath.
"Sir, doesn't it matter to you that Khushi mam is going to get married?" he asked.
"Aman, it does matter. I am happy that she will be starting a new life with a good person. Aditiya Malhotra is a great man. I know him!"
"Sir, we have to go for your checkup!" Aman said instead as he knew there was no point talking to his boss now, it was the right time to tell his family.
"I am fine, Aman. Good thing is I am still alive!"
"Sir, how long you will punish yourself?" Aman asked.
"As long as, I can bare it, anyways, we shouldn't be focusing on this at all. We have cracked the deal and we have to start working on our new project as soon as possible! And also, the hotel project is almost finished."
Aman looked at him. He was mad. "Sir, for a month you had been in the hospital, fighting for your life, why are you doing this to yourself?"
"Aman, let's get back to work!" he said flatly, as he ignored to talk about anything related to his past that keep no importance to anyone and it should not to him either he told himself.
"No, sir!" he said. "You are going for your routine check up to the hospital!"
"Aman, my doctor will come to the office don't worry. Now sit down and let's just not argue more on this!"
He saw Aman leaving the room in anger, saying he would call his doctor.
Arnav put the pen down and his back leant against his black leather chair. He rested his head back on the head rest.
As pain again engulfed his heart that never left his mind and soul in the past two months. Only he knew how much it mattered to him that Khushi was going to get married. He had every news of his family, but they knew nothing about him, where he was, what he has been doing till now. Better it was for them, he thought. They did not need him.
He got up his chair, "Does it matter what I feel about, Khushi?" he asked himself. "Every time I thought it was the end, I will be taking a last breath, I was saved. It is my punishment, I guess," he said as he looked at the night sky from his Italy office.
The only place on earth he knew nobody would know about him and his family would never be able to get here. Well he had no expectations they will be looking for him.
His health had depleted, right from the airport he was taken to the hospital. For a month he was in a coma, due to the hypoglycaemia.
His pancreas were damaged and it needed to be removed as soon as possible, luckily he had got a donor, and it matched with his blood group. He was saved. Now, again he is doing everything, but taking care of himself. If it was not Aman, he would have long killed himself.
After all, without his family and Khushi his life was empty, now Khushi will be married there will be no scope in the present or the future thdy were ever able to come back. He wondered why he was still alive?
***
"Mr. Aman, is there no one to look after Mr. Arnav?" Doctor asked.
Aman was quite. "I am asking this because he needs it. Luckily he has been improving, he has shown lot of improvement but sometimes his sugar levels fluctuates so badly, and anti-depressants that he had been taking lately, going to make his health worst."
Aman still hadn't said anything.
"Mr. Raizada," doctor said as he showed up at his cabin door.
Arnav wiped tears from his eyes and looked back.
"You do his check up, I shall be back!" Aman said and excused himself.
"Good evening, Dr. Williams!" he said cheerfully.
"Mr. Raizada, how have you been?"
***
"Hello!" Aman heard her say.
There was a long silence. Khushi thought it was Arnav.
"Arnav ji?" she said, as her heart sunk, but elevated with a thought it was him. "Arnav ji, is that you?" she asked hopefully, she had tears in her eyes.
"Aman...It's Aman!" he said.
"Aman!" Khushi was equally happy to know at least she would know where Arnav was.
"You must be really happy right?" he said angrily.
"Aman?" she said questioningly.
"Yes, after all, you are finally moving on in your life, now Arnav sir lives or die what it has to do with you? By pushing him more towards hell, you would be really happy afterall, this is what all you wanted!" Khushi was confused at the same time afraid thinking about Arnav.
"What has happened to, Arnav ji?" she asked.
"Right now he is alive, if you had asked this one month ago, he was almost dead!"
Khushi held the phone receiver tightly in her hand. "What are you saying, Aman?" she said in barely inaudible, fearful tone.
"Just want to say, Mam, that you truly have killed Arnav sir. You and your family, forced him to leave him alone to die!" Aman said.
"Aman, please tell me how is Arnav ji?"
"As I said, still alive!" he said and kept the phone.
By the time he hung up on her, he was crying. But Khushi? She couldn't breathe.
"Khushi, bitiya, let's go for a checkup!" Khushi's mom said from behind.
"Ma, I need to go back to RM!"
"Yes, we will go, but first check up!"
Khushi's mom didn't hear her once.
No matter how hard she tried. She was trembling in fear.
She and his whole family had been trying hard to find where Arnav was, but no one had found him. Today, Aman who had left AR Groups, and went to join Arnav's new company had all of sudden called, by telling about Arnav, had made her scared to death.
"Ma, can we go to RM?!"
"There is no way to argue over this!" Mrs. Gupta said and ignored her, and started talking to the marriage organizers for Khushi's marriage on her phone.
||At the hospital||
"Mrs. Khushi Arnav Singh Raizada!" Khushi said.
"Excuse me, it's Khushi Kumari Gupta and soon would be Khusi Aditiya Malhotra!" Mrs. Gupta said as she took time off her phone to talk to the receptionist to correct her.
"Sorry, mam, it's Khushi Arnav Singh Raizada!" Nurse repeated.
"Whatever!" Mrs. Gupta said. "Khushi, get your check up done. Call me in if you need me, and make sure you tell the doctor that you want to abort this bloody child!" she said and left.
Khushi tried not to loose her cool.
Someone called her from behind. "What did you just say, who you are?" A white, well dressed man asked in a thick Italian accent.
"Khushi Arnav..."
"Are you Arnav Singh Raizada's wife?" he asked.
"Yes, I am!" Khushi said surprised.
"Oh, wow. How is Mr. Arnav Raizada doing?"
"What...what happened to him?" she asked, her heart beating furiously again. "Do you know him?"
"Mrs. Raizada, you don't know, he was in a coma for a month!"
"Coma, what? Do you know where is he? Is he fine?" she asked.
"Mrs. Raizada, come I tell you everything. Come to my office!"
Khushi was so terrified that she thought she might collapse if she wasn't told, where and how Arnav was immediately. She followed the man. He opened the door of his office and let Khushi get in first.
"Mrs. Raizada, please have a seat."
"Can you tell me where my husband is?" she asked.
"Mrs. Raizada, relax. Please have a seat. I am doctor, Oliver Anderson. I had done your husband's surgery. His pancreas had been damaged and he went into coma due to serious decline in the sugar levels."
Khushi glared at the doctor absentmindedly, as she was in a state of complete shock.
"And where is he?" she asked, her voice plain.
"Luckily he is doing fine now, and he is a businessman isn't? Currently in Italy!"
Khushi didn't hear anything else and rushed to RM.
Mrs. Gupta saw her making her way out of the hospital. She ran after her, but Khushi was far ahead. She sat in the car and her driver had already made it's way towards RM.
***
"Anjali di, Payal bhabi, Mami, Nani ji!" Khushi yelled.
Each of the ladies came running.
"Khushi, what happened?" Akaash asked as he too had come.
"Arnav ji..." she said as she was huffing.
"Chote? What happened to him? Where is he?" Anjali asked.
"Khushi, bitiya come first and sit!" Nani said as she saw her condition.
"HP, bring a glass of water!"
Payal made her sit on the sofa. "Khushi, relax down first!"
Khushi clenched her hand in her hair and wailed.
"Khushi, bitiya, what has happened? Did you hear anything about, chote?" Mami ji asked.
"Khushi, why aren't you saying anything? You are making us all worry!"
"Why you all are?" HP asked.
Everyone looked at him.
"You all should be happy he has left all of you. Now whether he dies or lives, why do you care?" he questioned.
Akaash was angry, he went to him and held him by his collar. A tray of glass of water fell.
"Bhaiya ji, showing anger wouldn't work!" HP said.
"Akaash, leave him!" Payal said.
"For four days Arnav bhaiya was sick, none of you saw it, none of you, Khushi bhabi, you said you love him? You didn't care."
"What the heck you are saying?" Akaash said.
"Akaash, bhaiya let him say!" Khushi said as she got up the sofa.
"You know anything about him, HP?" Khushi asked.
"Yes, I know everything bhabi. You all ignored him. He was sick, you all excused him of being drunk, in reality he was sick. He had called the doctor himself, doctor had warned he would kill himself, he didn't care about his health, all he wanted was your forgiveness. He was trying his best, he hid all his worries, his ill health from you all, but you all taunted him. Didn't let him eat his food. He had left alcohol, but none of you cared. I am sorry I have no right to say this. But it was needed. You all were worried after he left? But didn't care what he was going though when he was in front of you, on a Diwali day, he was admitted to the hospital whole day. He didn't even let you know about it. Because he knew none of you will care!"
"HP, why didn't you tell us?" Khushi asked. "Why had you been quite?"
"Because none of you deserve him, and the day he had left!"
***Flashback***
"HP, you promise me that you won't tell anything where I am going, or anything about my health."
"Bhaiya, please don't go. You are ill. You need doctor!"
"HP, just shut up. And you swear on me you will stay shut up!"
"I will!" he had said.
***End of flashback***
Khushi fell on the floor. Nani had almost collapsed.
"Sasu ma!" Mama ji said and held her.
Payal and Anjali held Khushi. "Arnav ji, is in Italy, there was a doctor who I met at the hospital, told me, Arnav ji had been in coma for a month. He...I want to go to see him. Please Akaash bhaiya help me book the ticket! I have to take the earliest flights."
"Khushi, I can book you our private yet. We all will go in fact!" Akaash said but he still hadn't come out of trance.
"No, only Khushi bitiya would go for now!" Nani said.
"Khushi ji, please tell us how my brother is? As soon as you sought everything, we will be there, we all have to make up for so many mistake!" she added and cried.
After hearing about his health from Khushi and HP, every single member was shocked, and were regretting how blind and fool they were that they did not see what their Arnav was going through.
"How terrible we all had been!" Anjali cried.
"We all tortured him..." Mami cried.
***
"Have you gone crazy?" Khushi's dad said. "You want to go back to that drunken man who has ruined your life? Remember this, Khushi, if you tried to even step out of this house, you will see my dead face. Now you are not going to stay at Raizada Mansion but at Gupta mansion. It's the question of our image, but we will say to the Aditiya's family?" Mr. Gupta said and made her very clear what he wanted.
Khushi looked at him, with a plain look. She wasn't surprised.
"Dad, if you didn't let me go, you will see my dead face," she said without any hesitation. "I have to go and see my husband, he is fighting for his life!"
"When you were fighting for your life was he with you?"
"He was dad..." she said without any doubt. "...he was always there for me. But it was you both who weren't there with me. Whether he wanted it or not, he was there. Before I told him, he knew my condition, but I didn't see his. Even if I did I simply ignored it. And then after he left me, his family for complete one month he was in a coma, people who was his wasn't on his side what am irony? But HP and Aman. It is rightly said during the hard times even your shadow leaves you. I was so blind that I never gave him a chance. All in the end I want was freedom. I don't know what I was thinking. All I see was my pain in the end, how he had hurt me, but forgot what I did to him? All we saw was how he was hurting me, but none of us realized how much he loved Lavanya. We made him realize his mistakes first then I don't know why I thought I should leave him. Dad, yes, he hurt me a lot, but what he is going now is, he doesn't deserve it. Neither me nor our family ever thought that he was killing himself in guilt. All we see was how we were hurt by him, but saw his!"
"Khushi, these are just your pregnancy hormones. Everything will be fine, just abort this bloody child and marry Aditiya. He will keep you happy all your life. Can't you see how good man he is? You and him know each other for years."
"No, I won't," she said straight off. "Who told you to tell the media I was ready to marry Aditiya? I never said anything on this topic. I said I needed time, but dad I never gave you the right to make decisions for me of my life. If you think you can pressurize me, no you can't. You are so wrong. This baby, me wanted. Yes, he said he won't give me his wife's place, but I always wanted a motherhood. He didn't ever say no to me. In no way I will abort this child. Mom, I can't believe being a mother you are asking me to abort this child. What if I die today, would it be okay for you? A little scratch on me makes you cry, and you are saying abort my own child?" She questioned and Mrs. Gupta looked down as she was shameful.
"Khushi, he was not the one who needed it, as you mentioned it and you are going to gave him this news? I tell you will regret it, I am saying this again! He won't accept it. That good for nothing man will only hurt you. And like father like kid! What else we could expect?"
"Dad, that's a compliment. I really want my child to be just like Arnav ji. Who for my happiness left me. Who not even once gave a sign what he was going through. Dad, if today I didn't go, I will never able to forgive myself. Arnav ji, needs me. He needs to know that I am pregnant with his child. Please, dad."
Khushi's both parents looked at her.
"Khushi, go. Have a taste of it. Because I know you are coming back!"
"Dad, not until I make Arnav ji perfectly fine once again and bring him back to his family, who also has lot to make from their past mistakes," she said and left.
***
A journey to Italy was the longest journey Khushi could ever imagine. All she could do was cry. For the chance that she never gave Arnav.
"Your mommy, is really bad!" She said as she touched her womb. "She hurt your father! But I know he will be really happy when he would know that you are going to be a part of his life."
***Flashback***
"Arnav ji, I want a kid!" Khushi said, she didn't look at him as she knew he must be shocked. Arnav looked at her. "You want a baby with me?" he asked surprised "With a drunk man?"
"I know you won't accept me as your wife, but...I want to be a mother!"
"What if I say no?" it was just a normal question from his side.
She got up the bed and said, "You cannot snatch this right from me. You have married me for your family, so I expect you to give this share of happiness!"
"Would you be able to give me that right?" he asked. She was surprised he was saying it. At first hand she thought it will have hard time to convince him.
***Second flashback***
"Don't expect me that I will ever love you, I had made you this clear from the day one. This baby you want, not me..."
"Do you have to say this every time?" she asked.
"Opps sorry, do I say most of the time? I am sorry, I just can't be sober all the time!"
"Arnav ji, why don't you stop drinking?" she asked as she was out of breath.
"Who drink for fun? I drink out of helplessness!" he said and giggled at his own joke. "Khushi, I am sorry. I really I am. But I can't..." She didn't hear any of it as she was lost. Lost in his tortures.
Rest of the words melted in his mind too as they were hit by orgasm. He saw her shutting her eyes tight, then realizing. Her head falling back against the pillow as she tried to capture the intensity of their love making.
"Beautiful!" his mind screamed. He couldn't believe he did it. She couldn't believe she actually let that happen. She was out of breath, he was hard time catching his own breath, her belly, her chest rose and fell as she was exploded with pleasure. Thousands of firecrackers bursted in their bodies blinded with ecstasy. Khushi could feel his seeds inside her.
Never they had experienced it as they never ever had any physical intimacy with anyone else but each other. He was then leaning in to kiss her on lips. Which he never did. Something that she never expected. But she welcomed it with all her heart. Her mind and soul begged to be loved. Because kissing on lips meant having feelings and did he prove that he had feelings for her?
She never able to know the answer to her own question, he was out of habit, leaving alcohol to him meant death!"
***End of flashbacks***
Which pretty much he was going through. She covered her face and sobbed.
Where did they both go wrong? Understanding they always had. If they had given each other the right of physicality then why not give the name to their relationship? But they couldn't. Why? Problem was Arnav didn't want to let go off Lavanya. Asking for a little life in their unwanted relationship, had made Khushi attracted to him. Even they had talked this about each other. Expectations lead to heartaches.
Why she wouldn't have taken a decision to leave him? What was the point of living in such a relationship where there was everything but love. But she was a confused soul. She wanted be with him and then at the same not at all. But if they hadn't hell bent to make him realize without knowing he was a drunken man and the torture given to him would kill him more than the death of Lavanya.
In hurt they did the same mistake. They expected him to know everything on his own, when he had no caliber to think straight.
End result was this mess! They hurt each other. But Khushi was happy that out of this whole mess they had done something good that might build the broken relations again. At the moment she thought she was expecting too much for what she and the family had done to him.
"Was it possible to ask for an apology?" She thought. "How would she and the whole family would make up for the horrible mistake done deliberately?"
More she thought of it more she cried.
She wanted this wait to end, she wanted to know how Arnav was.
***Flashback***
2 months ago.
"Khushi, you know that you are one pregnant, don't you?"
"I know!"
"Why don't you tell this to your husband? Did he force you?"
She was immediately shaking her head. "I want to end this relationship!" she said.
"Khushi, you both have been trying to conceive, then this?"
"Sometimes we just have to move on, it was me who always wanted this baby. He won't care. And I don't want him to know either."
***End of flashback.
She was skeptical now. She was afraid he won't accept this baby. Of course she had an idea that he will reject it. Why expectations? She was going to see him, and tell him that she was pregnant, that's all. And see him after what she had heard about his health.
She just had to when she was still his wife, she hadn't taken divorce from him. She just couldn't.
***
The driver stopped the car in front of the huge building. Khushi got out of the car. The KSR groups. Khushi thought it was a wrong address.
"Driver, this is not the AR groups."
"It is on the name of Arnav Singh Raizada's ex-wife's name, Khushi Singh Raizada," someone said. Khushi had not to guess whom it was. Aman.
Khushi looked at him and closed the door of the car.
"Driver, park the car in the parking lot, and come here back!"
Driver nodded and drove off to park the car.
"So you have found your way here?" Aman said. "I am really surprised to see you, Khushi mam!"
"Aman, I know you are mad at me, but please tell where is Arnav ji?"
"You can't meet him."
"Aman, please!"
"He is at the hospital!"
"Hospital, what happened to him? I have heard from his doctor that he was doing fine! Aman, I beg off you, please take me to him!"
Aman was shaking his head. "There was no point of coming back here."
"Aman, stop these riddles, please tell me where is Arnav ji? And take me to him."
"Go home, mam. He will be there!"
"Why can't I go to see him to the hospital?" she asked. "Why are you not telling me, what has happened to him?"
"He is doing fine, go home after his check up, he is going home, you can see him there! He always wanted his family and you to stay away so that you don't know what he is going through. So let him at peace that you don't know anything."
Khushi simply looked at him.
***
As Khushi entered the flat of Arnav, it was all hodgepodge.
"I am sorry for this mess, but Arnav sir hasn't allowed anyone to touch anything, neither he did it by himself," Aman told her.
"It's okay, Aman, you don't have to be formal!"
"Well, it's my responsibility to take care of Arnav sir's guest. You can meet him and stay at the hotel just like everyone else."
"When he will be back?" Khushi instead asked.
Aman checked his watch, "In three hours! I will be back with the food. You can tell me what you want to eat!"
"Any veggie will work!" she responded. He nodded as turned on his heels to leave. "Aman!" she said.
Aman stopped.
"Thank you for taking care of Arnav ji!"
"He is like my elder brother, it was my responsibility, wouldn't have left him to die, right?" he said and left.
Leaving Khushi in guilt.
***
Khushi knew she wouldn't have spent three hours sitting, she first of all went in the kitchen. She put all the utensils in the dish washer machine. Half of them were burnt, she had to wash them on her own, that took a lot of time of her. Then she took all the clothes and put them for the laundry. Half of the mess was all sorted out.
When Aman came back he saw her working.
"What are you doing, mam? If Arnav sir saw you doing this, he will kill me!" he said in distress.
"Don't worry!" she said.
"Anyways, your food, please eat it!" he said and put the food on the table. Then he removed his coat, and his tie and was set to work.
"Aman, I will do it!" Khushi said.
Aman was gone to take the vaccum cleaner. He vacuumed every room of the apartment. First of all the one where Khushi was to stay. He knew Arnav wasn't going to allow her stay at the hotel as long as she was here. He then cleaned the rest of two rooms.
Khushi joined him in. She finished the kitchen and made food with whatever she had.
"Aman, you guys don't have anything Indian?"
"Mam, I have ordered everything from the grocery store, everything will be here!" Aman said.
"Mam, everything is done. I go and pick up Arnav sir from the hospital!"
"How...how long it will take?" she asked.
"About twenty minutes!"
Khushi's heart had started beating anxiously. She took a deep breath. How will she face him? How does he look now? How would he react to see her? Would he be angry? she thought.
She went to change her clothes that had gotten dirty due to clean up.
***
"Aman, why don't you come in?" Arnav said.
"Sir, I would have loved it, but Shaya is waiting for me at home."
"Oh, sure go ahead!"
"I am sorry, sir!"
"Aman, it's alright. Just go ahead! But wait do you have the key of the flat with you?"
Aman forgot he had kept the key at the apartment.
"Sir, I think I forgot it in the apartment. I came to grab a file. Sir, in a hurry I don't think I locked it either."
"Oh, it's fine. I see if it is open, otherwise, I need to get it change!"
"You won't need it, sir!" Aman said. "I mean I think I already left had it open!"
"Thank you, Aman. And tell Shaya, sorry that I didn't able to come for the breakfast today!"
"Sir, don't worry! She didn't mind it."
"Awesome!"
"Bye sir, go soon inside!"
Arnav nodded and went inside, the door keeper opened the door for him.
"Buona sera, signore!" (Good evening, sir!"
"Buona sera, Adam!" Arnav replied and made his way towards his flat that was at the tenth floor. He took the lift, too tired to take a staircase, as usually he would. But today it seemed he had to be in a hurry, to where but he had to.
But as soon as he had landed in front of the house, his heart fluttered. He could feel her presence. He could feel Khushi's presence.
He told himself not to give himself hopes. Reality was she was not going to come back, she was finally happy and soon going to get married. And she was happy where ever she was.
"Was he happy?" his subconscious mind asked.
He ignored to answer to that question and carried on. But more steps he took towards his flat, more he felt Khushi's presence. It was too hard to ignore. That his heart almost believed that she was waiting for him.
He wanted to run away from there if she wasn't there, he had hoped, and now he was unable to make himself believe the otherwise. His one part of the brain told him to go and check, and the other told him what if she wasn't there? And why this thought? He laughed at himself as he was making a fun of himself, she wouldn't come, when she won't even know where is he. Better for her, he thought. Relations had taken catastrophic changes now and nothing could had happened.
His soul was slowly eaten up the bugs of hopelessness inside him.
He realized he wasn't really moving backwards as his mind was telling him, but now he stood just outside the door. First thing he had to do was to figure out whether the door was open. He turned on the knob slowly, and it turned effortlessly. His heart started racing, once again. He then slowly tried to open the door.
Slowly and slowly, his eyes were lowered, too scared to look up. And then when he did, his heart beat stopped. He could feel nothing, nothing at all!
Even he couldn't tell what he was seeing in front of his eyes was real, or a fake facade of his mind.
On the other hand, Khushi's soul had rendered to see him, his jaw bones that was always in a perfect curved shape, was the only thing he was left on his face. His cheeks fullness fully fledged. He was lean as if he had not eaten anything for the past month. It was the worst condition she was seeing him in than she had anticipated. His sickness was so much evident. His clothes although he must have made to fit on his body, but they only showed the weight that he had lost.
His coat loosely hanged on his arm.
He walked in. Now surprise was all gone from his face, there was no single trace of shock.
"Arnav ji!" she said his name as almost she hooted in pain.
Arnav was furious now, he just knew it was Aman who had called her. His eyes shut, he clenched his fist until he could no longer clench it further.
He loosened his tie, kept his coat on the sofa. He sat on it, to remove his shoes.
"Arnav ji..." She said again when he didn't answer her. But he spoke.
"Good to see you, Khushi! Have you come here with your family? Your would be husband? Or you are in a wrong apartment?" he asked and got up.
Khushi didn't say anything, but went to him and hugged him. He felt his soul settling in peace. But no he wouldn't have let this happen. She had to go away from him. He tried to move her back, but she was hugging him tightly.
"Arnav ji, why did you leave us? Why? Without saying a word?"
He moved her back.
"I am not your husband, Ms. Khushi!" he said. "Your husband, Arnav Singh Raizada, is dead."
"Arnav ji, please don't say so. I am sorry for what I did!"
"No, you don't you have to, Ms. Khushi. You don't have to. Please go back from where ever you have come from here!" he said and walked towards his room. "Leave me alone. I am happy here! Go and start your new life."
"I didn't divorce you, Arnav ji," she said. "And I am pregnant with your child!"
He stopped and turned around.
She turned around and couldn't tell if he was shocked, surprised, or what?!
"Congratulations," he said. "You always wanted this child so you go for it."
Khushi was hurt, but what he ever said was the result of the bitterness they all shown to him in the past.
"Arnav ji, your anger is understood, but please forgive me!"
"Khushi, I don't know what has brought you here?"
"Your ill health, Arnav ji! I have come to know that you were hospitalized..."
"Hold on, it was a lie...Just to make you all regret for not giving me a chance, I am absolutely fine! Fit and healthy! I only had said Aman to say it!"
"Arnav ji, stop lying, Aman didn't say anything but the doctor who did your surgery wasn't lying I am sure!"
"Damn it!" he muttered to himself.
"Ms. Khushi, you are no more my wife, whether you taken the divorce or not was your problem? The kid you wanted not me, I told you that don't expect me to be part of it. Yes, I was little sick, but I am fine!"
"Stop it, Arnav ji, why are you lying?"
"Because I hate you and I don't want to see your face!" he said when he knew his other tactics failed. "Ab..." He gulped the lump in his throat down and finally muttered, "If you have come to tell me that you want to abort this child as your parents want it, abort and who really wants this bloody child, right? Not me either."
"You knew I was pregnant?!" She ignored everything for a moment and questioned her.
"Uh...huh...Yes, Aman had told me," he stammered.
If today, he didn't have said these words, he knew for all their life they would have regret it because he knew there was no future of them together. Khushi had concluded the fade of their relationship anyways.
"Arnav ji, you want to abort this child?" she asked.
"Y...Yes!" he hated how his own voice wasn't giving his side. "I never wanted it!"
"Arnav ji, if you wanted it you should have said it in my eyes, and without stammering," she said.
He turned around, walked to her furiously. "Abort this bloody child and start your new life, you want a child, you can have it with anyone. Why with a person who only gave you was hurt and pain, now you are happy?! And please get out of here!" he gestured her towards the main door.
"Arnav ji, please!"
Arnav held her arm and made her go out of his house.
"Khushi, go, this is best for you!" he didn't say to her but in his mind.
"Arnav ji, please don't do this!"
Arnav shut the door in her face.
CHAPTER 2
"Khushi!" he said as he finally came out of trance, he was so shocked to find her in his house. He wondered how come she was in Italy? Was he dreaming or what? He called her again at once as she did not hear him.
"Khushi, me Arnav!" he said and called her. But it looked like she was sleeping? He was not sure. He was scared. He wondered if she was fine. He checked her forhead, but she seemed okay. He kept his hand on hers. She was not responding him. Khushi never had been deep sleeper. She would wake up hearing one call. He patted her cheek softly.
"Khushi, can you hear me?" he said, his voice was sinking in fear.
She still was not responding. Was she unconcious? he thought.
"Arnav ji, please listen to me, please open the door!" Arnav looked at her confused. "Khushi, please open your eyes, it is me, Arnav!"
Hearing him, Khushi all of sudden opened her eyes, and saw him, and she was still in Arnav's flat and him looking at her in concern, she wondered what just happened.
She wiped her sweat off her forehead.
"Khushi, wait I go and get water for you!" he said, and rushed to the kitchen.
She looked at herself, she was still wearing her old saree, as in her dream she was wearing a new set of clothes. Then she realized she was too tired that she had fallen on the sofa and as soon as she closed her eyes she was sleeping. She checked the clock it was now 7:00 o'clock. Arnav was home after an hour.
She took a deep breath of sheer relief realizing it was her fears in her head that made her dream about Arnav's wrath. Arnav wasn't mad at her, he didn't mention abortion - just like her parents had said he will, not at least for the moment- he also hadn't thrown her out of his house.
She was relieved, but her dream only left her sick with fear, what if Arnav would do it now? She wished him to say anything to her, but nothing as she had dreamt of.
"Khushi, here drink water," he said as he came back with a glass of water.
Khushi held glass of water with her trembling hands, and she almost had spilled it if Arnav wasn't still holding it in his hand.
He knelt on his knees and made her drink water. Her tears flowed down her cheeks.
Arnav took a glass from her hands and kept it on the coffee table.
"Khushi, what happened? Why you look so tensed? Are you okay? Is your health fine? Have you been going to the doctor?" he asked. "How did you come here, and when? Who told you that I live here?"
Khushi's mind still was so furious that she couldn't believe what she pictured in her mind was the worst dream ever, better it was just a dream, she thought. She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly.
She was looking at him, he looked more terrible than in her dream.
She found out she had nothing to say to him. What would she say anyways? She wasn't going to tell him that she knows about his health. Because she was afraid that he will say or do everything to send her away from him for her happiness, that she didn't want.
Arnav felt he was the one who was dreaming. Khushi was really not there. But dreams aren't this vivid.
"Khushi, relax," he said but she hugged him even more tightly. She only cried till she was sick of them. She forgot that she was pregnant and need to take care of herself.
Her hormones were riding her to the state of craze, she hadn't expected she would dream every fear she had inside her mind.
"Khushi, would you say something?" he asked afraid.
"What she would say?" she thought. She had nothing to say to him except...
"Sorry, Arnav ji. For what I did with you," she said.
Arnav was afraid, and had his finger crossed, he just wished that she didn't know he was sick. But she was sorry for what she did, he had not expected it. Especially, when she had taken divorce from him.
"I am sorry for hurting you!" she sobbed.
She was not letting go off him even when he was trying her to push her back so that he could talk to her, face to face, and calm her down. Because seeing her like this was killing him.
"Khushi," he said, and he lightly pushed her back. "Please, Arnav ji, don't throw me out of the house. I am really sorry!" she said.
"No," his mind screamed. He won't even think of doing such, not even in his dreams. His heart and eyes were aching to see her when she was finally in front of him how he could do so? May be this was the reason he was still alive, and had wished before dying he could see her once. He didn't know god was listening to him this closely.
"Khushi, no, why would I throw you out of the house?" he asked.
Khushi just wished this wasn't something that she was dreaming of.
"You won't?!" she asked as she wiped her tears.
"What made you think that, Khushi?" he asked. "It's good to see you here! How are you here, by the way? Are you here with your family?"
Khushi's heart shattered as she felt pain in his words.
"No, I have come alone!"
"Alone? Why? And how did you come to know about me?"
"Uhh...I got to know by accident!" she said, as she still tried hard to compose herself.
In the past twenty minutes she was thankful to god millionth times that she was not dreaming this.
"Khushi, you need more water?"
She shook her head. She needed him, that was all.
She wondered if he knew she was pregnant.
"Arnav ji, I have to tell you something!"
"Yes, Khushi, say!"
"I am..." she stopped. She didn't know how to say it.
"Khushi, I know what you are going to say!" he then said.
"You know?"
"Yes, I am happy for you," he said. "This was what you always wanted, right?!"
Khushi was happy that he knew it. "Are you happy?" she asked.
"Khushi, you are going to start a new life, and why won't I be happy? Of course I am happy that you are going to get married!"
Khushi's face fell all of sudden.
"What happened, Khushi?"
"No, Arnav ji, this was not I was going to say. I was going to say that I am pregnant," she said all at once.
"Oh, that's good..." he said. "What?" he added suddenly.
Before he gets a chance to ask what she was saying... She completed her sentence.
"...Pregnant with your child!"
Arnav stood all of sudden on his feet. Khushi's heart was in her chest. Thousand fears again engulfed her. His face was masked with many emotions. But she could read one properly, a shocked one.
Khushi too got up the sofa. Now she realized he had no idea that he was going to become a father. Another sign she was not dreaming.
What Arnav was feeling was pure happiness, and yes, he was shocked too. But he somewhere knew Khushi could have been pregnant. They were trying to conceive. Even Lavanya had told him. That time he just ignored it because he wasn't sure if it was going to happen as he didn't hear anything about her pregnancy.
"Do you still want the baby?" he asked her. "I mean, after we have divorced!"
"What do you want?" she asked.
"I am happy for you," was he could only say.
"You wanted it."
"Is Aditiya happy? I mean that you are carrying my baby!"
"Of course I am happy!" Aditiya said, as out of no where he was standing outside Arnav's flat. Arnav faked a smile, but his heart felt it was knifed into little and infinite pieces.
Khushi was damn shocked to see him present there.
"Khushi, you didn't tell me you wanted to come and see your ex-husband!" he came in and hugged her. "Your dad told me, what was next I came here after you."
"Hi, Mr. Aditiya!" Arnav said. "I am really happy for both of you!" It was a lie of course.
"Thank you, Mr. Raizada. What has happened to you? Looks like you haven't left drinking, huh?! I am happy, because how come Khushi had left you for me. I know a bad joke, but sorry to know things did not work between you."
Arnav drank his tears - that were formed at the back of his eyes- and Khushi just managed to hide her anger. Arnav thanked himself that he had always been strong enough to hide his pain. "Yeah, I am sorry for that fact, that I didn't learn to be sober," he said looking at Khushi.
Khushi's heart ached once again looking at him. He was once again hurt and nothing she could do. He was once again taken up for his ill health as drunk. He often laughed at himself, what image he had made of himself in front of everyone. But he never felt sorry for himself not anymore.
Khushi wanted to push Aditya away but she moved his hand off her waist, politely. And she could not believe her parents can cross every limits of their. She regretted she even went to ask for their permission and told them where she was going.
"Khushi, you have met him, now let's go. We have to return back. Your father was so worried, he said he want you to be back as soon as possible. And after all, our engagement is in a week. Mr. Raizada, please do come. Whole world want to see you. And you are hiding here in Italy. I know it's hard to face after being humiliated, but it's alright. Dogs keep on barking!"
"Just like you," Khushi wanted to say to him.
"May I know how come engagement in a week?" she asked.
"Oh, Mr. Gupta, wants that me and you get married soon. So that I can take care of this baby!" Khushi was surprised how he never had a problem with this baby.
"Aditiya, I am not going anywhere!" she said. "And in no way I am going to get engaged to you, when in no way I have said yes to this marriage!"
Arnav looked at her in surprise. He wondered if she was happy with this marriage.
"I know, Khushi, you are mad at me, that I didn't talk to you for a while, but I know you can hide this from yourself not me. Mr. Gupta, I mean dad, I should call jim dad now, said me that you always loved me. If it wasn't for the promise for your friend, Lavanya. You hadn't married this man!"
Khushi had no idea where did that she-was-mad-at-him-thing came out of and she loved him? What the heck? It was not the truth. Again she knew it only came from her father's side.
"Aditiya, we can talk about it later."
"It's okay, Khushi, you guys carry on," Arnav said and left. Before Khushi could stop him he was gone.
"Aditiya, for now I want to stay here for a while, for me can you please just postpone the engagement?! And also a marriage for a year?! I don't want any headache."
"What are you saying, Khushi?" Aditiya asked.
"Nothing, for me can't you do this? You know what I will tell you everything on phone," she said and winked at him.
Aditiya was confused but he simply nodded.
Khushi knew it was her father's conspiracy. She was so angry, and stressed, that she was loosing her cool. But she realized she had to play according to her parents set rules to beat them in the game that they were too curious to play with her life. They must have made every story to convince Aditiya to marry her. She wasn't a fool who did not know, Aditiya was a clever businessman, without his own benefit he wouldn't even accept his own parents, she herself and the baby was a far story. But she knew he was always an emotional fool. She had to do everything too call off this marriage.
"Sure, Khushi. But I have to return back..."
"It's okay, Aditiya. I will be back soon to India. And will you explain this to my parents and your family?"
"Yes, Khushi. Anything for you. I really think you are beautiful and I really want to marry you. I will say that I want to postpone this marriage for a year."
"Aww...That's so sweet of you, Aditiya!"
"I book a hotel for you to stay in!"
"Don't worry, Aditiya. I already have!"
"Okay, Khushi. See you and do tell me on phone..."
"About what...?"
"About why are you going to stay here?"
"Oh I tell you now, you know what I actually want to abort this child. I don't want it!"
"Why, Khushi? I told you I will accept this baby! Khushi, I truly care for you!" he said.
"Your dad said how much you want this baby!"
Khushi couldn't tell if he was acting or what? But she expected him to be happy with this decision of hers. Then she would have known his true colours. "Khushi, don't abort this baby!"
Her eyes fell at Arnav's reflection through the kitchen glass door. Her heart raced, she was afraid, and knew he had heard her saying this.
"Khushi!" Aditiya said.
"Aditiya, I need time to think. That I will only be able to make if I will be here. Just go!"
"Are you sure, Khushi?" Aditiya said.
"Yes, Aditiya!"
"Bye, Khushi, take care of yourself. Do not stay here please. But in a hotel!"
Aditiya left and Khushi closed the door so that he doesn't come back. As she turned back Arnav was gone. Khushi ran to see where he had gone. She had to clear every misunderstanding. He was in his room. She saw him digging in his medicine box for medicines restlessly.
"Arnav ji, are you looking for something?" she asked scared.
"Huh...No, nothing. Khushi go, from here please. I am little busy."
"Arnav ji, what these medicines for?" she asked.
Arnav was scared to answer her. But sensations inside his body was killing him. He thought before he breaks down he had to send her out.
"Khushi, can you go and see in the kitchen I have put my medicines there. I just have a head ache!"
Khushi had cleaned up the kitchen there she hadn't find any medicines.
"Arnav ji, I didn't see any medicines there. I had cleaned it! But if your head hurts I can massage it."
His breathing was hardly coming to him. He thanked god that his back was towards her.
"Khushi, I forgot it must in the cabinet in my study. From here down the hall, to the left is my study."
"Okay," she said and ran.
Arnav immediately picked three tablets and gulped down his throat without even drinking water. He then hid his medicines in his locker and went to the washroom until, he knew his medicines worked.
"Arnav ji, where are you?" Khushi said.
"Here is your medicine!"
"Khushi, I got my medicine, actually! The one in your hands are the one that I don't eat."
Khushi knew something was wrong with him. He can't hide his pain now from her when she knew what he was going through.
"Arnav ji, can you please come out? I need to talk to you!" her heart was beating in fear. Or he was hurt by hearing that she was going to abort the baby, she wondered.
"Khushi, can I take shower? I will see you in the living room."
His voice was deceiving him, and her mind wasn't accepting he was fine.
She waited in fear in his room. Finally after half an hour he was out.
"Arnav ji, what ever you heard was not the truth. I don't want to abort this child!" She immediately said.
"I know, Khushi," he said. "There must be a reason behind it, I mean why you said it. It's okay you do not have to give these explanations. Must say Aditiya is going to be a great father. He is a great person too. Anyways, I think you should eat something. You should not be negligent towards your health if you are pregnant."
Khushi looked at him as he went out of the room. She touched her womb at so much peace she was at now. She had to once again make him perfectly fine, enough he has fought alone and that was just because of her and his family.
"Arnav ji, I have made dinner. Can I set it on the table?" Khushi asked. Arnav did not look at her, but it sounded weird to him. Weird because it was something that he missed in the past month. For most of the time he won't even care to eat.
Ironic it was, now, he didn't feel like accepting the offer, but then she had made it he didn't want to disappoint her. Most importantly, he wanted her to eat. He knew if he would say no she herself won't eat too. That would cause harm only to their child.
"I had ordered food from outside," he said. "You just came today, and you all are doing this?" he asked.
"No, it was actually not needed," she said. "I was not tired. I slept in a flight!"
"You might not need it, but baby do. Think twice before doing anything. It's not you alone. By the way, did you get medical certificate to be on board during this time?"
She was at so much relief just because he was talking to her.
"Yes, Arnav ji, I had arranged it!" she told him immediately.
"What are doctors saying? How are you doing? And the baby? Had you been going for regular checkups?"
"Yes, I am doing fine, and baby is healthy too. I got all the tests done, doctor said everything is fine!"
"We could eat food that you have made then, I cancel the order, outside food is not that good for the baby. Also from tomorrow there will be a cook and a maid as long as you are here," he said. Her face fell, as he mentioned the last sentence.
"Arnav ji, I can manage. You don't need to worry. I have to cook for only two of us and then there is nothing much to clean here!"
"Do as you wish!" he said as he finally gave up. "Why don't you do one thing go and take shower first?"
Khushi looked at her clothes. She was too busy to realize that she need to change her clothes.
"I go and take shower!" she said embarrassed.
He lightly nodded.
***
On her return, she saw Arnav had already set the dinner table.
"Arnav ji, I would have done it!"
He didn't say anything, so Khushi stayed quite.
"I serve you!" she said.
He stopped her.
"Sit down and eat!" his tone was stern.
She listened to him and sat down in the chair.
"Did Aman ask you to come here?" he finally asked, what he was itching to ask since her arrival, but he didn't even once look at her. He served himself soup and lettuce and broccoli salad.
Khushi passed him ranch.
She didn't know if she should tell him the truth, but there was no need to lie either. "Yes, I first went to your office when I first arrived here. There I met him. He told me that I should come home as I will meet you here!"
Khushi couldn't tell if he really muttered"hmm" in a reply.
"Grocery has just arrived few minutes ago and I have kept it in the kitchen. Just check if there is everything that you need. If not, make me a list."
"I was wondering if I can go and myself shop around."
Her chest was tightening, he wasn't looking at her. But he was eating food, as he hadn't quite for a while, made her feel comfortable.
"If you want, you can take Shaya with you!" he said and didn't protest.
"Shaya?" she asked, and wondered who she was.
"Aman's wife. A very nice lady. You will like her. She can accompany you. She is on a maternity leave. She can be a help to you, I mean if you have any question regarding pregnancy. Recently, Aman had a baby boy. One month old."
"That's really a good news."
"Hmm..."
"Anything specific that you want!" she asked.
"Me?" he asked. As, if, he wasn't listening her. "Nothing special!" he answered.
"Arnav ji, are you fine?" she finally asked.
This made him look at her. He was not sure what exactly she was asking. "Don't lie!" she said.
Arnav somehow thought she knew everything.
"Your doctor, Dr. Peter Anderson, met me in India at the hospital. He told me you had your pancreas replaced, and you had been in a coma for a month!" her voice was fidgety. She was trying hard not cry as guilt was taking over her piece of mind.
So this was how she came to know, he thought. Now there was no point telling any lies, but truth.
"Yes, I had been. Nothing so serious. I am doing fine post surgery."
"Why didn't you let anyone know? "Your family needed to know!" she felt stupid saying this. But it was too late to take those words back too.
He hadn't said anything. Khushi knew he won't say anything as she herself knew the answer.
They both ate the food in silence. "See you in the morning!" he said, "leave dishes here, I will pick it myself."
He was leaving when Khushi spoke,
"We are sorry, Arnav ji! We are sorry for what we did."
He stopped. Having no idea what to say.
She got up the chair and then turned around only to face his back.
"You don't have to be sorry."
"We have to because that was done deliberately!" she said.
Arnav fell quite before he gathered a courage to speak his heart out.
"Khushi, you do not have to feel bad for what I went through, you and my family thought I deserved it. You were right. So, on that, I do not need any justification. I do not need to know that why you were treating me like a stranger. After what I did to you I deserved it. I was ready to amend my every mistake, but alas! I wasn't given a chance. This is why I left my family. Didn't you all want that anyways? Didn't I tell you already that I guess I couldn't have given you anything but a peace by going away from all of your lives. Then why did you think that I would have stayed back and made your life more miserable. I wasn't selfish just to get your forgiveness I had stayed back with a peace in my mind for rest of my life. That was why I signed the divorce papers. This was why I left all of you to give all of you what you all wanted.
"I didn't want any one to sympathize with me and forgive me after what I did to you, Khushi. If my punishment was to leave you alone when I wanted the otherwise, I did it, Khushi. I curse the moment you came to know that I was sick. And if you are here because you know that I had been in a hospital, you do not have to sympathize with me. I do not need it. I am doing perfectly fine now. I might sound harsh, but I am saying, what I feel. You have broken this marriage long time ago. I never demanded it. So now all this make no sense to me!"
"I did not give you divorce, we both signed the papers, but I did not file the case!" she said as tears gushed down her cheeks.
"Does it make any difference? Khushi, what do you exactly want?" he asked as he turned around. "Before you say anything, think twice. I had told you before too, make a wise choice. Choose the right person.
"Also, you cannot break relations and build them whenever you feel or wish like. The damage we all have done to this relationship is not going to be mend in day or two. May be never.
"As much as I wanted to give our marriage a chance, more you wanted to break it. I have not forgotten that yet. I got punishment for what I did. Still I am. May be more than I had deserved. Not anymore! Do not think either that I am punishing you. I care for you. But you have to be sensible, Khushi. My family has to be sensible. You have to take decision with cool mind. Not what others think and what situation is.
"You said it was your mistake that you gave me the right to touch you, those words hurt me here," he said as he pocked his chest. "I cannot ever forget those words, Khushi. Especially, when I wanted that child. That was something you never understood, Khushi."
Khushi looked at him in shock. What exactly he wanted to say.
"Those words were said in hurt, Arnav ji!"
"Khushi, I am sorry I did not see that in your eyes. That was a pure hatred! That made me feel as I was a monster! They were way too harsh than my own family telling me that I better stay away from them, from you to let them and you in peace. They were harsh than my own sister telling me that may be I was the reason for Lavanya's death! That's exactly how much you all hated me!"
Khushi couldn't believe Anjali had said that to him.
"Arnav ji, we are sorry!"
"Khushi, sorry even I was. Look, I do not want to play this blame game. I am just asking you to move on."
"I want to move on with you, Arnav ji!"
"It is not easy for me, Khushi, after thousand rejections it is not easy for me!"
This time his hurt was speaking.
Before he could say something that was only going to hurt, he left.
Khushi realized it was not the time to cry. He was right, he was not given a chance to make up for his mistakes.
He was right she had to be sensible. Not let her emotions play with her, she won't repeat the mistake once again. In anger she had decided to take divorce from him and now with love she had to win him back.
Lavanaya hadn't harmed him enough than she and her and his family had.
May be yes, she had expected a lot after all this.
She was still standing where Arnav left her, when he had retuned back after changing his clothes, "You should go and sleep," he said. And himself he was clearing the dinner table.
"Arnav ji, I will do it!" she said.
"Please, Khushi, for god sake, go!"
She didn't listen him. And went to the kitchen. Arnav was angry, but he didn't say anything. He did what he thought he should. He had no right to even show his anger.
In silence, they both did their work. When they both were done, Khushi went to her room and Arnav sat in the living room.
It was 10 PM. And Arnav had habit to not to sleep whole night sometimes and today, was one of those nights.
He turned on the T.V. And he surfed the channels until he couldn't find the one that interested him. Not even business news. After rejecting twenty channels he settled at the health channel. Coincidentally, it was on pregnancy.
Thought of his own wife being pregnant made him feel the way he wasn't sure he should be feeling. He knew he didn't deserve to be even close to Khushi. But he wanted to take care of her, and his baby. He wanted to be part of it, just like every normal parent would do. But there was nothing normal between them. Not a ego one could say, sometimes hurt and guilt reaches the extents when even you desperately want things to be normal but couldn't do anything to bring them to normal due to many factors. It is also easy said than done.
He listened to everything doctor said on TV. In a segment of 30 minutes he had pictured everything.
Lost in his thoughts, he eventually had dozed off.
Khushi saw the TV was on. She went to see if Arnav was still up. Which she doubted. As she went close to him, she saw him sleeping. He pulled his legs up on the sofa, and tugged the pillow underneath his head. Later she went to retrieve blanket for him. She pulled it over him and then sat on the floor beside him.
Fresh new tears formed in her eyes. She could tell from his dried up tears that he might had cried to sleep.
"I am sorry, really I am, Arnav ji!" she said, and ran her hand in his hair lightly. "I know I am being selfish, but I need you. I don't even ask for forgiveness, but for one chance that I and your family denied to give you."
CHAPTER 1
"Have you gone crazy?" Khushi's dad said. "You want to go back to that drunken man who has ruined your life? Remember this, Khushi, if you tried to even step out of this house, you will see my dead face. Now you are not going to stay at Raizada Mansion but at Gupta mansion. It's the question of our image, but we will say to the Aditiya's family?" Mr. Gupta said and made her very clear what he wanted.
Khushi looked at him, with a plain look. She wasn't surprised.
"Dad, if you didn't let me go, you will see my dead face," she said without any hesitation. "I have to go and see my husband, he is fighting for his life!"
"When you were fighting for your life was he with you?"
"He was dad..." she said without any doubt. "...he was always there for me. But it was you both who weren't there with me. Whether he wanted it or not, he was there. Before I told him, he knew my condition, but I didn't see his. Even if I did I simply ignored it. And then after he left me, his family for complete one month he was in a coma, people who was his wasn't on his side what am irony? But HP and Aman. It is rightly said during the hard times even your shadow leaves you. I was so blind that I never gave him a chance. All in the end I want was freedom. I don't know what I was thinking. All I see was my pain in the end, how he had hurt me, but forgot what I did to him? All we saw was how he was hurting me, but none of us realized how much he loved Lavanya. We made him realize his mistakes first then I don't know why I thought I should leave him. Dad, yes, he hurt me a lot, but what he is going now is, he doesn't deserve it. Neither me nor our family ever thought that he was killing himself in guilt. All we see was how we were hurt by him, but saw his!"
"Khushi, these are just your pregnancy hormones. Everything will be fine, just abort this bloody child and marry Aditiya. He will keep you happy all your life. Can't you see how good man he is? You and him know each other for years."
"No, I won't," she said straight off. "Who told you to tell the media I was ready to marry Aditiya? I never said anything on this topic. I said I needed time, but dad I never gave you the right to make decisions for me of my life. If you think you can pressurize me, no you can't. You are so wrong. This baby, me wanted. Yes, he said he won't give me his wife's place, but I always wanted a motherhood. He didn't ever say no to me. In no way I will abort this child. Mom, I can't believe being a mother you are asking me to abort this child. What if I die today, would it be okay for you? A little scratch on me makes you cry, and you are saying abort my own child?" She questioned and Mrs. Gupta looked down as she was shameful.
"Khushi, he was not the one who needed it, as you mentioned it and you are going to gave him this news? I tell you will regret it, I am saying this again! He won't accept it. That good for nothing man will only hurt you. And like father like kid! What else we could expect?"
"Dad, that's a compliment. I really want my child to be just like Arnav ji. Who for my happiness left me. Who not even once gave a sign what he was going through. Dad, if today I didn't go, I will never able to forgive myself. Arnav ji, needs me. He needs to know that I am pregnant with his child. Please, dad."
Khushi's both parents looked at her.
"Khushi, go. Have a taste of it. Because I know you are coming back!"
"Dad, not until I make Arnav ji perfectly fine once again and bring him back to his family, who also has lot to make from their past mistakes," she said and left.
***
A journey to Italy was the longest journey Khushi could ever imagine. All she could do was cry. For the chance that she never gave Arnav.
"Your mommy, is really bad!" She said as she touched her womb. "She hurt your father! But I know he will be really happy when he would know that you are going to be a part of his life."
***Flashback***
"Arnav ji, I want a kid!" Khushi said, she didn't look at him as she knew he must be shocked. Arnav looked at her. "You want a baby with me?" he asked surprised "With a drunk man?"
"I know you won't accept me as your wife, but...I want to be a mother!"
"What if I say no?" it was just a normal question from his side.
She got up the bed and said, "You cannot snatch this right from me. You have married me for your family, so I expect you to give this share of happiness!"
"Would you be able to give me that right?" he asked. She was surprised he was saying it. At first hand she thought it will have hard time to convince him.
***Second flashback***
"Don't expect me that I will ever love you, I had made you this clear from the day one. This baby you want, not me..."
"Do you have to say this every time?" she asked.
"Opps sorry, do I say most of the time? I am sorry, I just can't be sober all the time!"
"Arnav ji, why don't you stop drinking?" she asked as she was out of breath.
"Who drink for fun? I drink out of helplessness!" he said and giggled at his own joke. "Khushi, I am sorry. I really I am. But I can't..." She didn't hear any of it as she was lost. Lost in his tortures.
Rest of the words melted in his mind too as they were hit by orgasm. He saw her shutting her eyes tight, then realizing. Her head falling back against the pillow as she tried to capture the intensity of their love making.
"Beautiful!" his mind screamed. He couldn't believe he did it. She couldn't believe she actually let that happen. She was out of breath, he was hard time catching his own breath, her belly, her chest rose and fell as she was exploded with pleasure. Thousands of firecrackers bursted in their bodies blinded with ecstasy. Khushi could feel his seeds inside her.
Never they had experienced it as they never ever had any physical intimacy with anyone else but each other. He was then leaning in to kiss her on lips. Which he never did. Something that she never expected. But she welcomed it with all her heart. Her mind and soul begged to be loved. Because kissing on lips meant having feelings and did he prove that he had feelings for her?
She never able to know the answer to her own question, he was out of habit, leaving alcohol to him meant death!"
***End of flashbacks***
Which pretty much he was going through. She covered her face and sobbed.
Where did they both go wrong? Understanding they always had. If they had given each other the right of physicality then why not give the name to their relationship? But they couldn't. Why? Problem was Arnav didn't want to let go off Lavanya. Asking for a little life in their unwanted relationship, had made Khushi attracted to him. Even they had talked this about each other. Expectations lead to heartaches.
Why she wouldn't have taken a decision to leave him? What was the point of living in such a relationship where there was everything but love. But she was a confused soul. She wanted be with him and then at the same not at all. But if they hadn't hell bent to make him realize without knowing he was a drunken man and the torture given to him would kill him more than the death of Lavanya.
In hurt they did the same mistake. They expected him to know everything on his own, when he had no caliber to think straight.
End result was this mess! They hurt each other. But Khushi was happy that out of this whole mess they had done something good that might build the broken relations again. At the moment she thought she was expecting too much for what she and the family had done to him.
"Was it possible to ask for an apology?" She thought. "How would she and the whole family would make up for the horrible mistake done deliberately?"
More she thought of it more she cried.
She wanted this wait to end, she wanted to know how Arnav was.
***Flashback***
2 months ago.
"Khushi, you know that you are one pregnant, don't you?"
"I know!"
"Why don't you tell this to your husband? Did he force you?"
She was immediately shaking her head. "I want to end this relationship!" she said.
"Khushi, you both have been trying to conceive, then this?"
"Sometimes we just have to move on, it was me who always wanted this baby. He won't care. And I don't want him to know either."
***End of flashback.
She was skeptical now. She was afraid he won't accept this baby. Of course she had an idea that he will reject it. Why expectations? She was going to see him, and tell him that she was pregnant, that's all. And see him after what she had heard about his health.
She just had to when she was still his wife, she hadn't taken divorce from him. She just couldn't.
***
The driver stopped the car in front of the huge building. Khushi got out of the car. The KSR groups. Khushi thought it was a wrong address.
"Driver, this is not the AR groups."
"It is on the name of Arnav Singh Raizada's ex-wife's name, Khushi Singh Raizada," someone said. Khushi had not to guess whom it was. Aman.
Khushi looked at him and closed the door of the car.
"Driver, park the car in the parking lot, and come here back!"
Driver nodded and drove off to park the car.
"So you have found your way here?" Aman said. "I am really surprised to see you, Khushi mam!"
"Aman, I know you are mad at me, but please tell where is Arnav ji?"
"You can't meet him."
"Aman, please!"
"He is at the hospital!"
"Hospital, what happened to him? I have heard from his doctor that he was doing fine! Aman, I beg off you, please take me to him!"
Aman was shaking his head. "There was no point of coming back here."
"Aman, stop these riddles, please tell me where is Arnav ji? And take me to him."
"Go home, mam. He will be there!"
"Why can't I go to see him to the hospital?" she asked. "Why are you not telling me, what has happened to him?"
"He is doing fine, go home after his check up, he is going home, you can see him there! He always wanted his family and you to stay away so that you don't know what he is going through. So let him at peace that you don't know anything."
Khushi simply looked at him.
***
As Khushi entered the flat of Arnav, it was all hodgepodge.
"I am sorry for this mess, but Arnav sir hasn't allowed anyone to touch anything, neither he did it by himself," Aman told her.
"It's okay, Aman, you don't have to be formal!"
"Well, it's my responsibility to take care of Arnav sir's guest. You can meet him and stay at the hotel just like everyone else."
"When he will be back?" Khushi instead asked.
Aman checked his watch, "In three hours! I will be back with the food. You can tell me what you want to eat!"
"Any veggie will work!" she responded. He nodded as turned on his heels to leave. "Aman!" she said.
Aman stopped.
"Thank you for taking care of Arnav ji!"
"He is like my elder brother, it was my responsibility, wouldn't have left him to die, right?" he said and left.
Leaving Khushi in guilt.
***
Khushi knew she wouldn't have spent three hours sitting, she first of all went in the kitchen. She put all the utensils in the dish washer machine. Half of them were burnt, she had to wash them on her own, that took a lot of time of her. Then she took all the clothes and put them for the laundry. Half of the mess was all sorted out.
When Aman came back he saw her working.
"What are you doing, mam? If Arnav sir saw you doing this, he will kill me!" he said in distress.
"Don't worry!" she said.
"Anyways, your food, please eat it!" he said and put the food on the table. Then he removed his coat, and his tie and was set to work.
"Aman, I will do it!" Khushi said.
Aman was gone to take the vaccum cleaner. He vacuumed every room of the apartment. First of all the one where Khushi was to stay. He knew Arnav wasn't going to allow her stay at the hotel as long as she was here. He then cleaned the rest of two rooms.
Khushi joined him in. She finished the kitchen and made food with whatever she had.
"Aman, you guys don't have anything Indian?"
"Mam, I have ordered everything from the grocery store, everything will be here!" Aman said.
"Mam, everything is done. I go and pick up Arnav sir from the hospital!"
"How...how long it will take?" she asked.
"About twenty minutes!"
Khushi's heart had started beating anxiously. She took a deep breath. How will she face him? How does he look now? How would he react to see her? Would he be angry? she thought.
She went to change her clothes that had gotten dirty due to clean up.
***
"Aman, why don't you come in?" Arnav said.
"Sir, I would have loved it, but Shaya is waiting for me at home."
"Oh, sure go ahead!"
"I am sorry, sir!"
"Aman, it's alright. Just go ahead! But wait do you have the key of the flat with you?"
Aman forgot he had kept the key at the apartment.
"Sir, I think I forgot it in the apartment. I came to grab a file. Sir, in a hurry I don't think I locked it either."
"Oh, it's fine. I see if it is open, otherwise, I need to get it change!"
"You won't need it, sir!" Aman said. "I mean I think I already left had it open!"
"Thank you, Aman. And tell Shaya, sorry that I didn't able to come for the breakfast today!"
"Sir, don't worry! She didn't mind it."
"Awesome!"
"Bye sir, go soon inside!"
Arnav nodded and went inside, the door keeper opened the door for him.
"Buona sera, signore!" (Good evening, sir!"
"Buona sera, Adam!" Arnav replied and made his way towards his flat that was at the tenth floor. He took the lift, too tired to take a staircase, as usually he would. But today it seemed he had to be in a hurry, to where but he had to.
But as soon as he had landed in front of the house, his heart fluttered. He could feel her presence. He could feel Khushi's presence.
He told himself not to give himself hopes. Reality was she was not going to come back, she was finally happy and soon going to get married. And she was happy where ever she was.
"Was he happy?" his subconscious mind asked.
He ignored to answer to that question and carried on. But more steps he took towards his flat, more he felt Khushi's presence. It was too hard to ignore. That his heart almost believed that she was waiting for him.
He wanted to run away from there if she wasn't there, he had hoped, and now he was unable to make himself believe the otherwise. His one part of the brain told him to go and check, and the other told him what if she wasn't there? And why this thought? He laughed at himself as he was making a fun of himself, she wouldn't come, when she won't even know where is he. Better for her, he thought. Relations had taken catastrophic changes now and nothing could had happened.
His soul was slowly eaten up the bugs of hopelessness inside him.
He realized he wasn't really moving backwards as his mind was telling him, but now he stood just outside the door. First thing he had to do was to figure out whether the door was open. He turned on the knob slowly, and it turned effortlessly. His heart started racing, once again. He then slowly tried to open the door.
Slowly and slowly, his eyes were lowered, too scared to look up. And then when he did, his heart beat stopped. He could feel nothing, nothing at all!
Even he couldn't tell what he was seeing in front of his eyes was real, or a fake facade of his mind.
On the other hand, Khushi's soul had rendered to see him, his jaw bones that was always in a perfect curved shape, was the only thing he was left on his face. His cheeks fullness fully fledged. He was lean as if he had not eaten anything for the past month. It was the worst condition she was seeing him in than she had anticipated. His sickness was so much evident. His clothes although he must have made to fit on his body, but they only showed the weight that he had lost.
His coat loosely hanged on his arm.
He walked in. Now surprise was all gone from his face, there was no single trace of shock.
"Arnav ji!" she said his name as almost she hooted in pain.
Arnav was furious now, he just knew it was Aman who had called her. His eyes shut, he clenched his fist until he could no longer clench it further.
He loosened his tie, kept his coat on the sofa. He sat on it, to remove his shoes.
"Arnav ji..." She said again when he didn't answer her. But he spoke.
"Good to see you, Khushi! Have you come here with your family? Your would be husband? Or you are in a wrong apartment?" he asked and got up.
Khushi didn't say anything, but went to him and hugged him. He felt his soul settling in peace. But no he wouldn't have let this happen. She had to go away from him. He tried to move her back, but she was hugging him tightly.
"Arnav ji, why did you leave us? Why? Without saying a word?"
He moved her back.
"I am not your husband, Ms. Khushi!" he said. "Your husband, Arnav Singh Raizada, is dead."
"Arnav ji, please don't say so. I am sorry for what I did!"
"No, you don't you have to, Ms. Khushi. You don't have to. Please go back from where ever you have come from here!" he said and walked towards his room. "Leave me alone. I am happy here! Go and start your new life."
"I didn't divorce you, Arnav ji," she said. "And I am pregnant with your child!"
He stopped and turned around.
She turned around and couldn't tell if he was shocked, surprised, or what?!
"Congratulations," he said. "You always wanted this child so you go for it."
Khushi was hurt, but what he ever said was the result of the bitterness they all shown to him in the past.
"Arnav ji, your anger is understood, but please forgive me!"
"Khushi, I don't know what has brought you here?"
"Your ill health, Arnav ji! I have come to know that you were hospitalized..."
"Hold on, it was a lie...Just to make you all regret for not giving me a chance, I am absolutely fine! Fit and healthy! I only had said Aman to say it!"
"Arnav ji, stop lying, Aman didn't say anything but the doctor who did your surgery wasn't lying I am sure!"
"Damn it!" he muttered to himself.
"Ms. Khushi, you are no more my wife, whether you taken the divorce or not was your problem? The kid you wanted not me, I told you that don't expect me to be part of it. Yes, I was little sick, but I am fine!"
"Stop it, Arnav ji, why are you lying?"
"Because I hate you and I don't want to see your face!" he said when he knew his other tactics failed. "Ab..." He gulped the lump in his throat down and finally muttered, "If you have come to tell me that you want to abort this child as your parents want it, abort and who really wants this bloody child, right? Not me either."
"You knew I was pregnant?!" She ignored everything for a moment and questioned her.
"Uh...huh...Yes, Aman had told me," he stammered.
If today, he didn't have said these words, he knew for all their life they would have regret it because he knew there was no future of them together. Khushi had concluded the fade of their relationship anyways.
"Arnav ji, you want to abort this child?" she asked.
"Y...Yes!" he hated how his own voice wasn't giving his side. "I never wanted it!"
"Arnav ji, if you wanted it you should have said it in my eyes, and without stammering," she said.
He turned around, walked to her furiously. "Abort this bloody child and start your new life, you want a child, you can have it with anyone. Why with a person who only gave you was hurt and pain, now you are happy?! And please get out of here!" he gestured her towards the main door.
"Arnav ji, please!"
Arnav held her arm and made her go out of his house.
"Khushi, go, this is best for you!" he didn't say to her but in his mind.
"Arnav ji, please don't do this!"
Arnav shut the door in her face.
CHAPTER 2
"Khushi!" he said as he finally came out of trance, he was so shocked to find her in his house. He wondered how come she was in Italy? Was he dreaming or what? He called her again at once as she did not hear him.
"Khushi, me Arnav!" he said and called her. But it looked like she was sleeping? He was not sure. He was scared. He wondered if she was fine. He checked her forhead, but she seemed okay. He kept his hand on hers. She was not responding him. Khushi never had been deep sleeper. She would wake up hearing one call. He patted her cheek softly.
"Khushi, can you hear me?" he said, his voice was sinking in fear.
She still was not responding. Was she unconcious? he thought.
"Arnav ji, please listen to me, please open the door!" Arnav looked at her confused. "Khushi, please open your eyes, it is me, Arnav!"
Hearing him, Khushi all of sudden opened her eyes, and saw him, and she was still in Arnav's flat and him looking at her in concern, she wondered what just happened.
She wiped her sweat off her forehead.
"Khushi, wait I go and get water for you!" he said, and rushed to the kitchen.
She looked at herself, she was still wearing her old saree, as in her dream she was wearing a new set of clothes. Then she realized she was too tired that she had fallen on the sofa and as soon as she closed her eyes she was sleeping. She checked the clock it was now 7:00 o'clock. Arnav was home after an hour.
She took a deep breath of sheer relief realizing it was her fears in her head that made her dream about Arnav's wrath. Arnav wasn't mad at her, he didn't mention abortion - just like her parents had said he will, not at least for the moment- he also hadn't thrown her out of his house.
She was relieved, but her dream only left her sick with fear, what if Arnav would do it now? She wished him to say anything to her, but nothing as she had dreamt of.
"Khushi, here drink water," he said as he came back with a glass of water.
Khushi held glass of water with her trembling hands, and she almost had spilled it if Arnav wasn't still holding it in his hand.
He knelt on his knees and made her drink water. Her tears flowed down her cheeks.
Arnav took a glass from her hands and kept it on the coffee table.
"Khushi, what happened? Why you look so tensed? Are you okay? Is your health fine? Have you been going to the doctor?" he asked. "How did you come here, and when? Who told you that I live here?"
Khushi's mind still was so furious that she couldn't believe what she pictured in her mind was the worst dream ever, better it was just a dream, she thought. She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly.
She was looking at him, he looked more terrible than in her dream.
She found out she had nothing to say to him. What would she say anyways? She wasn't going to tell him that she knows about his health. Because she was afraid that he will say or do everything to send her away from him for her happiness, that she didn't want.
Arnav felt he was the one who was dreaming. Khushi was really not there. But dreams aren't this vivid.
"Khushi, relax," he said but she hugged him even more tightly. She only cried till she was sick of them. She forgot that she was pregnant and need to take care of herself.
Her hormones were riding her to the state of craze, she hadn't expected she would dream every fear she had inside her mind.
"Khushi, would you say something?" he asked afraid.
"What she would say?" she thought. She had nothing to say to him except...
"Sorry, Arnav ji. For what I did with you," she said.
Arnav was afraid, and had his finger crossed, he just wished that she didn't know he was sick. But she was sorry for what she did, he had not expected it. Especially, when she had taken divorce from him.
"I am sorry for hurting you!" she sobbed.
She was not letting go off him even when he was trying her to push her back so that he could talk to her, face to face, and calm her down. Because seeing her like this was killing him.
"Khushi," he said, and he lightly pushed her back. "Please, Arnav ji, don't throw me out of the house. I am really sorry!" she said.
"No," his mind screamed. He won't even think of doing such, not even in his dreams. His heart and eyes were aching to see her when she was finally in front of him how he could do so? May be this was the reason he was still alive, and had wished before dying he could see her once. He didn't know god was listening to him this closely.
"Khushi, no, why would I throw you out of the house?" he asked.
Khushi just wished this wasn't something that she was dreaming of.
"You won't?!" she asked as she wiped her tears.
"What made you think that, Khushi?" he asked. "It's good to see you here! How are you here, by the way? Are you here with your family?"
Khushi's heart shattered as she felt pain in his words.
"No, I have come alone!"
"Alone? Why? And how did you come to know about me?"
"Uhh...I got to know by accident!" she said, as she still tried hard to compose herself.
In the past twenty minutes she was thankful to god millionth times that she was not dreaming this.
"Khushi, you need more water?"
She shook her head. She needed him, that was all.
She wondered if he knew she was pregnant.
"Arnav ji, I have to tell you something!"
"Yes, Khushi, say!"
"I am..." she stopped. She didn't know how to say it.
"Khushi, I know what you are going to say!" he then said.
"You know?"
"Yes, I am happy for you," he said. "This was what you always wanted, right?!"
Khushi was happy that he knew it. "Are you happy?" she asked.
"Khushi, you are going to start a new life, and why won't I be happy? Of course I am happy that you are going to get married!"
Khushi's face fell all of sudden.
"What happened, Khushi?"
"No, Arnav ji, this was not I was going to say. I was going to say that I am pregnant," she said all at once.
"Oh, that's good..." he said. "What?" he added suddenly.
Before he gets a chance to ask what she was saying... She completed her sentence.
"...Pregnant with your child!"
Arnav stood all of sudden on his feet. Khushi's heart was in her chest. Thousand fears again engulfed her. His face was masked with many emotions. But she could read one properly, a shocked one.
Khushi too got up the sofa. Now she realized he had no idea that he was going to become a father. Another sign she was not dreaming.
What Arnav was feeling was pure happiness, and yes, he was shocked too. But he somewhere knew Khushi could have been pregnant. They were trying to conceive. Even Lavanya had told him. That time he just ignored it because he wasn't sure if it was going to happen as he didn't hear anything about her pregnancy.
"Do you still want the baby?" he asked her. "I mean, after we have divorced!"
"What do you want?" she asked.
"I am happy for you," was he could only say.
"You wanted it."
"Is Aditiya happy? I mean that you are carrying my baby!"
"Of course I am happy!" Aditiya said, as out of no where he was standing outside Arnav's flat. Arnav faked a smile, but his heart felt it was knifed into little and infinite pieces.
Khushi was damn shocked to see him present there.
"Khushi, you didn't tell me you wanted to come and see your ex-husband!" he came in and hugged her. "Your dad told me, what was next I came here after you."
"Hi, Mr. Aditiya!" Arnav said. "I am really happy for both of you!" It was a lie of course.
"Thank you, Mr. Raizada. What has happened to you? Looks like you haven't left drinking, huh?! I am happy, because how come Khushi had left you for me. I know a bad joke, but sorry to know things did not work between you."
Arnav drank his tears - that were formed at the back of his eyes- and Khushi just managed to hide her anger. Arnav thanked himself that he had always been strong enough to hide his pain. "Yeah, I am sorry for that fact, that I didn't learn to be sober," he said looking at Khushi.
Khushi's heart ached once again looking at him. He was once again hurt and nothing she could do. He was once again taken up for his ill health as drunk. He often laughed at himself, what image he had made of himself in front of everyone. But he never felt sorry for himself not anymore.
Khushi wanted to push Aditya away but she moved his hand off her waist, politely. And she could not believe her parents can cross every limits of their. She regretted she even went to ask for their permission and told them where she was going.
"Khushi, you have met him, now let's go. We have to return back. Your father was so worried, he said he want you to be back as soon as possible. And after all, our engagement is in a week. Mr. Raizada, please do come. Whole world want to see you. And you are hiding here in Italy. I know it's hard to face after being humiliated, but it's alright. Dogs keep on barking!"
"Just like you," Khushi wanted to say to him.
"May I know how come engagement in a week?" she asked.
"Oh, Mr. Gupta, wants that me and you get married soon. So that I can take care of this baby!" Khushi was surprised how he never had a problem with this baby.
"Aditiya, I am not going anywhere!" she said. "And in no way I am going to get engaged to you, when in no way I have said yes to this marriage!"
Arnav looked at her in surprise. He wondered if she was happy with this marriage.
"I know, Khushi, you are mad at me, that I didn't talk to you for a while, but I know you can hide this from yourself not me. Mr. Gupta, I mean dad, I should call jim dad now, said me that you always loved me. If it wasn't for the promise for your friend, Lavanya. You hadn't married this man!"
Khushi had no idea where did that she-was-mad-at-him-thing came out of and she loved him? What the heck? It was not the truth. Again she knew it only came from her father's side.
"Aditiya, we can talk about it later."
"It's okay, Khushi, you guys carry on," Arnav said and left. Before Khushi could stop him he was gone.
"Aditiya, for now I want to stay here for a while, for me can you please just postpone the engagement?! And also a marriage for a year?! I don't want any headache."
"What are you saying, Khushi?" Aditiya asked.
"Nothing, for me can't you do this? You know what I will tell you everything on phone," she said and winked at him.
Aditiya was confused but he simply nodded.
Khushi knew it was her father's conspiracy. She was so angry, and stressed, that she was loosing her cool. But she realized she had to play according to her parents set rules to beat them in the game that they were too curious to play with her life. They must have made every story to convince Aditiya to marry her. She wasn't a fool who did not know, Aditiya was a clever businessman, without his own benefit he wouldn't even accept his own parents, she herself and the baby was a far story. But she knew he was always an emotional fool. She had to do everything too call off this marriage.
"Sure, Khushi. But I have to return back..."
"It's okay, Aditiya. I will be back soon to India. And will you explain this to my parents and your family?"
"Yes, Khushi. Anything for you. I really think you are beautiful and I really want to marry you. I will say that I want to postpone this marriage for a year."
"Aww...That's so sweet of you, Aditiya!"
"I book a hotel for you to stay in!"
"Don't worry, Aditiya. I already have!"
"Okay, Khushi. See you and do tell me on phone..."
"About what...?"
"About why are you going to stay here?"
"Oh I tell you now, you know what I actually want to abort this child. I don't want it!"
"Why, Khushi? I told you I will accept this baby! Khushi, I truly care for you!" he said.
"Your dad said how much you want this baby!"
Khushi couldn't tell if he was acting or what? But she expected him to be happy with this decision of hers. Then she would have known his true colours. "Khushi, don't abort this baby!"
Her eyes fell at Arnav's reflection through the kitchen glass door. Her heart raced, she was afraid, and knew he had heard her saying this.
"Khushi!" Aditiya said.
"Aditiya, I need time to think. That I will only be able to make if I will be here. Just go!"
"Are you sure, Khushi?" Aditiya said.
"Yes, Aditiya!"
"Bye, Khushi, take care of yourself. Do not stay here please. But in a hotel!"
Aditiya left and Khushi closed the door so that he doesn't come back. As she turned back Arnav was gone. Khushi ran to see where he had gone. She had to clear every misunderstanding. He was in his room. She saw him digging in his medicine box for medicines restlessly.
"Arnav ji, are you looking for something?" she asked scared.
"Huh...No, nothing. Khushi go, from here please. I am little busy."
"Arnav ji, what these medicines for?" she asked.
Arnav was scared to answer her. But sensations inside his body was killing him. He thought before he breaks down he had to send her out.
"Khushi, can you go and see in the kitchen I have put my medicines there. I just have a head ache!"
Khushi had cleaned up the kitchen there she hadn't find any medicines.
"Arnav ji, I didn't see any medicines there. I had cleaned it! But if your head hurts I can massage it."
His breathing was hardly coming to him. He thanked god that his back was towards her.
"Khushi, I forgot it must in the cabinet in my study. From here down the hall, to the left is my study."
"Okay," she said and ran.
Arnav immediately picked three tablets and gulped down his throat without even drinking water. He then hid his medicines in his locker and went to the washroom until, he knew his medicines worked.
"Arnav ji, where are you?" Khushi said.
"Here is your medicine!"
"Khushi, I got my medicine, actually! The one in your hands are the one that I don't eat."
Khushi knew something was wrong with him. He can't hide his pain now from her when she knew what he was going through.
"Arnav ji, can you please come out? I need to talk to you!" her heart was beating in fear. Or he was hurt by hearing that she was going to abort the baby, she wondered.
"Khushi, can I take shower? I will see you in the living room."
His voice was deceiving him, and her mind wasn't accepting he was fine.
She waited in fear in his room. Finally after half an hour he was out.
"Arnav ji, what ever you heard was not the truth. I don't want to abort this child!" She immediately said.
"I know, Khushi," he said. "There must be a reason behind it, I mean why you said it. It's okay you do not have to give these explanations. Must say Aditiya is going to be a great father. He is a great person too. Anyways, I think you should eat something. You should not be negligent towards your health if you are pregnant."
Khushi looked at him as he went out of the room. She touched her womb at so much peace she was at now. She had to once again make him perfectly fine, enough he has fought alone and that was just because of her and his family.
Chapter 3
"Arnav ji, I have made dinner. Can I set it on the table?" Khushi asked. Arnav did not look at her, but it sounded weird to him. Weird because it was something that he missed in the past month. For most of the time he won't even care to eat.
Ironic it was, now, he didn't feel like accepting the offer, but then she had made it he didn't want to disappoint her. Most importantly, he wanted her to eat. He knew if he would say no she herself won't eat too. That would cause harm only to their child.
"I had ordered food from outside," he said. "You just came today, and you all are doing this?" he asked.
"No, it was actually not needed," she said. "I was not tired. I slept in a flight!"
"You might not need it, but baby do. Think twice before doing anything. It's not you alone. By the way, did you get medical certificate to be on board during this time?"
She was at so much relief just because he was talking to her.
"Yes, Arnav ji, I had arranged it!" she told him immediately.
"What are doctors saying? How are you doing? And the baby? Had you been going for regular checkups?"
"Yes, I am doing fine, and baby is healthy too. I got all the tests done, doctor said everything is fine!"
"We could eat food that you have made then, I cancel the order, outside food is not that good for the baby. Also from tomorrow there will be a cook and a maid as long as you are here," he said. Her face fell, as he mentioned the last sentence.
"Arnav ji, I can manage. You don't need to worry. I have to cook for only two of us and then there is nothing much to clean here!"
"Do as you wish!" he said as he finally gave up. "Why don't you do one thing go and take shower first?"
Khushi looked at her clothes. She was too busy to realize that she need to change her clothes.
"I go and take shower!" she said embarrassed.
He lightly nodded.
***
On her return, she saw Arnav had already set the dinner table.
"Arnav ji, I would have done it!"
He didn't say anything, so Khushi stayed quite.
"I serve you!" she said.
He stopped her.
"Sit down and eat!" his tone was stern.
She listened to him and sat down in the chair.
"Did Aman ask you to come here?" he finally asked, what he was itching to ask since her arrival, but he didn't even once look at her. He served himself soup and lettuce and broccoli salad.
Khushi passed him ranch.
She didn't know if she should tell him the truth, but there was no need to lie either. "Yes, I first went to your office when I first arrived here. There I met him. He told me that I should come home as I will meet you here!"
Khushi couldn't tell if he really muttered"hmm" in a reply.
"Grocery has just arrived few minutes ago and I have kept it in the kitchen. Just check if there is everything that you need. If not, make me a list."
"I was wondering if I can go and myself shop around."
Her chest was tightening, he wasn't looking at her. But he was eating food, as he hadn't quite for a while, made her feel comfortable.
"If you want, you can take Shaya with you!" he said and didn't protest.
"Shaya?" she asked, and wondered who she was.
"Aman's wife. A very nice lady. You will like her. She can accompany you. She is on a maternity leave. She can be a help to you, I mean if you have any question regarding pregnancy. Recently, Aman had a baby boy. One month old."
"That's really a good news."
"Hmm..."
"Anything specific that you want!" she asked.
"Me?" he asked. As, if, he wasn't listening her. "Nothing special!" he answered.
"Arnav ji, are you fine?" she finally asked.
This made him look at her. He was not sure what exactly she was asking. "Don't lie!" she said.
Arnav somehow thought she knew everything.
"Your doctor, Dr. Peter Anderson, met me in India at the hospital. He told me you had your pancreas replaced, and you had been in a coma for a month!" her voice was fidgety. She was trying hard not cry as guilt was taking over her piece of mind.
So this was how she came to know, he thought. Now there was no point telling any lies, but truth.
"Yes, I had been. Nothing so serious. I am doing fine post surgery."
"Why didn't you let anyone know? "Your family needed to know!" she felt stupid saying this. But it was too late to take those words back too.
He hadn't said anything. Khushi knew he won't say anything as she herself knew the answer.
They both ate the food in silence. "See you in the morning!" he said, "leave dishes here, I will pick it myself."
He was leaving when Khushi spoke,
"We are sorry, Arnav ji! We are sorry for what we did."
He stopped. Having no idea what to say.
She got up the chair and then turned around only to face his back.
"You don't have to be sorry."
"We have to because that was done deliberately!" she said.
Arnav fell quite before he gathered a courage to speak his heart out.
"Khushi, you do not have to feel bad for what I went through, you and my family thought I deserved it. You were right. So, on that, I do not need any justification. I do not need to know that why you were treating me like a stranger. After what I did to you I deserved it. I was ready to amend my every mistake, but alas! I wasn't given a chance. This is why I left my family. Didn't you all want that anyways? Didn't I tell you already that I guess I couldn't have given you anything but a peace by going away from all of your lives. Then why did you think that I would have stayed back and made your life more miserable. I wasn't selfish just to get your forgiveness I had stayed back with a peace in my mind for rest of my life. That was why I signed the divorce papers. This was why I left all of you to give all of you what you all wanted.
"I didn't want any one to sympathize with me and forgive me after what I did to you, Khushi. If my punishment was to leave you alone when I wanted the otherwise, I did it, Khushi. I curse the moment you came to know that I was sick. And if you are here because you know that I had been in a hospital, you do not have to sympathize with me. I do not need it. I am doing perfectly fine now. I might sound harsh, but I am saying, what I feel. You have broken this marriage long time ago. I never demanded it. So now all this make no sense to me!"
"I did not give you divorce, we both signed the papers, but I did not file the case!" she said as tears gushed down her cheeks.
"Does it make any difference? Khushi, what do you exactly want?" he asked as he turned around. "Before you say anything, think twice. I had told you before too, make a wise choice. Choose the right person.
"Also, you cannot break relations and build them whenever you feel or wish like. The damage we all have done to this relationship is not going to be mend in day or two. May be never.
"As much as I wanted to give our marriage a chance, more you wanted to break it. I have not forgotten that yet. I got punishment for what I did. Still I am. May be more than I had deserved. Not anymore! Do not think either that I am punishing you. I care for you. But you have to be sensible, Khushi. My family has to be sensible. You have to take decision with cool mind. Not what others think and what situation is.
"You said it was your mistake that you gave me the right to touch you, those words hurt me here," he said as he pocked his chest. "I cannot ever forget those words, Khushi. Especially, when I wanted that child. That was something you never understood, Khushi."
Khushi looked at him in shock. What exactly he wanted to say.
"Those words were said in hurt, Arnav ji!"
"Khushi, I am sorry I did not see that in your eyes. That was a pure hatred! That made me feel as I was a monster! They were way too harsh than my own family telling me that I better stay away from them, from you to let them and you in peace. They were harsh than my own sister telling me that may be I was the reason for Lavanya's death! That's exactly how much you all hated me!"
Khushi couldn't believe Anjali had said that to him.
"Arnav ji, we are sorry!"
"Khushi, sorry even I was. Look, I do not want to play this blame game. I am just asking you to move on."
"I want to move on with you, Arnav ji!"
"It is not easy for me, Khushi, after thousand rejections it is not easy for me!"
This time his hurt was speaking.
Before he could say something that was only going to hurt, he left.
Khushi realized it was not the time to cry. He was right, he was not given a chance to make up for his mistakes.
He was right she had to be sensible. Not let her emotions play with her, she won't repeat the mistake once again. In anger she had decided to take divorce from him and now with love she had to win him back.
Lavanaya hadn't harmed him enough than she and her and his family had.
May be yes, she had expected a lot after all this.
She was still standing where Arnav left her, when he had retuned back after changing his clothes, "You should go and sleep," he said. And himself he was clearing the dinner table.
"Arnav ji, I will do it!" she said.
"Please, Khushi, for god sake, go!"
She didn't listen him. And went to the kitchen. Arnav was angry, but he didn't say anything. He did what he thought he should. He had no right to even show his anger.
In silence, they both did their work. When they both were done, Khushi went to her room and Arnav sat in the living room.
It was 10 PM. And Arnav had habit to not to sleep whole night sometimes and today, was one of those nights.
He turned on the T.V. And he surfed the channels until he couldn't find the one that interested him. Not even business news. After rejecting twenty channels he settled at the health channel. Coincidentally, it was on pregnancy.
Thought of his own wife being pregnant made him feel the way he wasn't sure he should be feeling. He knew he didn't deserve to be even close to Khushi. But he wanted to take care of her, and his baby. He wanted to be part of it, just like every normal parent would do. But there was nothing normal between them. Not a ego one could say, sometimes hurt and guilt reaches the extents when even you desperately want things to be normal but couldn't do anything to bring them to normal due to many factors. It is also easy said than done.
He listened to everything doctor said on TV. In a segment of 30 minutes he had pictured everything.
Lost in his thoughts, he eventually had dozed off.
Khushi saw the TV was on. She went to see if Arnav was still up. Which she doubted. As she went close to him, she saw him sleeping. He pulled his legs up on the sofa, and tugged the pillow underneath his head. Later she went to retrieve blanket for him. She pulled it over him and then sat on the floor beside him.
Fresh new tears formed in her eyes. She could tell from his dried up tears that he might had cried to sleep.
"I am sorry, really I am, Arnav ji!" she said, and ran her hand in his hair lightly. "I know I am being selfish, but I need you. I don't even ask for forgiveness, but for one chance that I and your family denied to give you."
No comments:
Post a Comment